Things I didn't accomplish in 2015

(1) Learn how to speak Latin. This is mostly because, like the guy who complains about not winning the lottery but never actually buys a ticket, I didn't technically study Latin this year. Still, I consider it a failure.

(2) Figure out how to drive a stick shift. Again, I never actually tried doing this, but the fact remains that, as was the case a year ago, I still can't drive a car with a manual transmission.

(3) Spend the time I want to spend with my kids. Yeah, yeah, I have to earn a living to support them and all, which takes a lot of time. There are probably a million excuses I can make. But the fact is I fell short in this area. Again. Gotta do better in 2016.

(4) Write my wife a poem. Or a song or something. I really should do that. I used to make up very Caucasian rap songs about her when we were dating. Like, on the spot. I could improvise quickly. Not so much anymore. That's a skill I ought to dust off because, really, who DOESN'T want to listen to a 46-year-old suburban (read: white) guy rap about his main squeeze?

(5) Read through the Bible in a year. I've only ever actually done this one time, and it was the year 2000. I should be doing this every year. I didn't make it a priority. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also...

(6) Learn to play in the altissimo register on the saxophone. This is a band geeky thing. For you non-musicians – or non-saxophonists, really – the saxophone naturally has a range to high F (some saxes have a key that lets you reach high F-sharp). It's possible to play much higher than that, but you have to learn what is called "altissimo"playing, which is in some ways a very controlled squeak. Something to do with "overtones" and other musical terms. It's difficult but not impossible. Or at least I assume it is, because I never learned it. It's a life goal. I'm going to make it happen.

(7) Run every day. I always say I want to start doing this because I'm inspired when I visit runeveryday.com and read about people who have run at least a mile every day for 5, 10, 15, 20 or more years (two guys actually have streaks of 45 or more years, as certified by the who-knew-they-existed United States Running Streak Association). But my body does not cooperate with this wish. I tear a calf muscle just sitting here thinking about it. I may not have the build ever to actually achieve this, but I'll keep trying.

Think twice (or three times) before giving a nasty reply

Just wanted to throw something out there:

One of the wonderful things about the Internet is the ability for people from all around the world to come together in one place and discuss relevant issues.

Or at least it would be one of the wonderful things about the Internet if people weren't so horrible. But they are horrible, and the result is that online chat forums and comments sections under news articles are infested by nasty types spewing hatred and ignorance.

Sorry, that's just the way it is. Even Facebook is infected with folks spouting off on topics about which they know almost nothing.

The Bible, as usual, has good advice here. Throughout the book of Proverbs and elsewhere, you'll find admonitions to listen a lot more than you speak. Holding your tongue can be a wonderful thing.

So the next time you read something online that irritates you (which for some people is apparently every 38 seconds), before you reply, just stop for a second. Hold off. Come back to it five minutes later, if you can. And if you still feel the need to reply, then go ahead. Your response is likely to be more rational and, hopefully, more courteous.

I'm telling you, you'll be a lot better off if you do this. That Abraham Lincoln quote about it being better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt is spot on.

OK, please go on with your day. And be nice, OK?

If I never had to sleep, this is what I would do

The biggest problem in my life is that I have to carve out time to sleep.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy sleeping. But honestly, sleep gets in the way of everything I want to do. I'm forever changing my exercise routine/life plan because I have limited time in the morning and therefore have to make compromises, and I can't decide sometimes which activities are worth keeping and which can be jettisoned.

But if you gave me a pill that made it so I didn't have to sleep, I'm pretty sure a typical night would go like this for me:

10:30 p.m. - Say good night to Terry because I won't give her any of my "No Sleep" pills, and therefore she has to go to bed. Besides, I think she likes sleeping too much to give it up.

10:30 p.m.-12:30 a.m. - I would watch a new movie or TV program every night. There are thousands of movies and TV shows on which I would love to catch up. Some are old, some are new. I'm assuming here I would never exhaust the available supply of new entertainment and that I wouldn't get bored of it.

12:30 a.m.-1:30 a.m. - Read for an hour. Anything, really. Just read. I never get to read. I love to read. I've loved to read since I was four years old.

1:30 a.m.-2:00 a.m. - Since I'm already doing the reading thing, I would get my daily Bible reading in here. I've been trying to get through the Bible start to finish this year for the first time since 2000, so I would set aside these 30 minutes to get my Bible on.

2:00-3:30 a.m. - Run 10 miles. I would do this every night if I could. Of course I would have to build back up to this level of stamina, but I love running in the dark and in the quiet. Running 70 miles a week takes a toll on the joints, though, so I might turn this into a walk sometimes...

3:30 a.m.-4:00 a.m. - After my run I would meditate for a half hour. Or maybe do tai chi or something.

4:00 a.m.-4:30 a.m. - Shower and dress.

4:30 a.m.-5:30 a.m. - I would read the Cleveland Plain Dealer, New York Times and Wall Street Journal back to back to back. I so wish I had more time for something beyond a cursory reading of the paper every day.

5:30 a.m.-5:45 a.m. - Feed the cats and clean their litter boxes. This is a chore that never goes away.

5:45 a.m.-6:30 a.m. - Listen to music. It might be a symphony, some bebop jazz, a succession of 80s tunes, an entire album from a favorite artist, whatever. Just listen to music and absorb it. That would be fun.

6:30 a.m.-7:00 a.m. - Eat breakfast and greet my poor family, who by this point will have wasted the whole night sleeping.

7:00 a.m. - Leave for work.

I'm telling you, that would be a series of awesome nights...