Every once in a while, I like to offer my wife examples of things an idiot would say

The AI-generated wife in this picture is looking at her AI-generated husband the way my real-life wife sometimes looks at me.

This is a fairly common exchange between me and my bride of many years:

ME (cleaning up the kitchen after dinner): What should I do with your glass of water? Dump it out?

TERRY: You should leave it it where it is and not touch it so I can have some later.

ME: Yes, of course! I knew that, but I wanted to show you what an idiot might ask in this situation.

This happens all the time. I ask what ultimately turns out to be a dumb question, and when I hear the answer, my only chance at recovery is humor.

Other situations in which I end up having to offer the "I was just letting you know what an idiot might say" defense include, but are certainly not limited to:

• When I'm looking for something in our house and she points me toward its easily discernible (for a non-idiot) location
• When I'm unloading the dishwasher and ask – for what may be the 37th time – which black plastic kitchen tools go in the tool turnabout and which ones go in the sliding drawer to the right
• When I ask what she's doing today after she has already told me twice
• When I'm trying desperately to open a package from the wrong end and she gently points out the "tear here" direction on the other side
• When I ask what time our family get-together starts instead of just looking at the calendar on the fridge
• When I'm trying to put something together and somehow miss the very clearly marked Tab A that goes into Slot B

And so on.

I view all of this as a helpful service. Without me, my wife would never know how to identify an idiot in her life.

Even though she has lived with one for 33 years.