What I like and don't like about my new pair of reading glasses

I don't mean to keep harping on this, but with my eyes having recently made the decision that they're no longer going to work especially hard to read small print, I had to make a trip to CVS to get my first pair of readers.

This, mind you, happened in the same week I saw a gastroenterologist in preparation for my first colonoscopy. We in Team Scott (that is to say, me) are reeling a little when it comes to the age-related milestones.

Anyway, I bought these glasses and they do their job, which is great. A quick rundown:

WHAT I LIKE

• They look good. At first I only saw colorful "fashion" readers on the rack, and I thought I was either going to have to buy a pair of leopard skin frames or walk away empty-handed. Thankfully, I turned around and saw another display of readers, many of which were made for middle-of-the-road suburban dads like me.
• They were easy to get used to. I figured it would take some period of adjustment before I really made full use of these glasses, but I had no problems from the outset. I mostly need them for reading actual print material, and even then only occasionally. So far they're doing exactly what they're supposed to.

WHAT I DON'T LIKE

• The price. I got hornswoggled here. These are Foster Grant glasses, so I didn't really blink when I saw the $31 price tag. Only later when I got home and asked Terry how much she pays for her reading glasses did I find out that hers are usually $5 or $10 from Marc's. I should have checked into it before venturing out. On the plus side, they look really nice. Did I mention that?
• The fact that I need them at all. Allow me some period of whining during which I will complain about having to buy a pair of readers in the first place. I'll get over it in time. (In the interim, when did Apple decide to start using blurry text on the iPhone? Feels it just happened recently. I'm calling someone to register a protest...assuming I can see the numbers on my phone.)

You will not deter me from my love of CVS

I do not shop.

Or at least, I shop very little.

Terry handles the shopping in our house, from grocery shopping to Christmas shopping, and she does it well. I figure, why mess with a good thing?

There are really only two stores in which you will find me with any regularity.

One is Marc's, a local chain of grocery stores that is quick and convenient when we need, like, bananas or whatever.

The other is CVS.

CVS, for my non-American friends, is a national drugstore/pharmacy chain (the Brits may call it a "chemist") that I have frequented for many years.

And when I say "frequent," I mean it.

I go to CVS twice a week, sometimes more often. There are many things I buy there, from the nasal mist to which I'm addicted to the gum I chew in the car to the 95% cocoa content chocolate bars I sometimes pick up as treats for myself (since no one else in the house wants anything to do with them).

I am not only a CVS ExtraCare member, which is like their frequent shopper program, I am also a CVS Advisory Panel member. This means I occasionally am asked to fill out extensive marketing research surveys for the company, in return for which they give me ExtraBucks, which are basically like cash I can use in the store.

I am also a member of their CarePass program, which contains a mid-word capital letter like all good CVS initiatives AND gives me $10 in ExtraBucks to spend as I choose every month.

Much like Apple, they have me hook, line, and sinker.

It has been explained to me that my loyalty to the good folks at CVS may be a tad misplaced, in that their prices are high and their merchandise is perhaps middle-of-the-road. Or some such nonsense.

Please understand something: MY DEVOTION TO CVS WILL NOT BE DERAILED BY YOUR FACTS. Much like many people's choice of political candidate, I base my choice of drugstore not on objective truths, but rather on the world as I wish it existed.

We recently undertook an exercise at work in which we had to identify our favorite "relationship brand" and describe what that brand does to connect with customers and why we like it.

I of course chose CVS. I described all of the wonderful things they do for me.

After my little presentation, I was summarily mocked by my colleagues. Something about being "90 years old."

They can laugh all they want. I'm going to CVS today with $12 in ExtraBucks in my account and a 35-stick pack of Wrigley's Peppermint Cobalt 5 Gum with my name on it.

Do not bother acting as if you're not jealous.