Before I knew it, I was a gum chewer

At some point in the last 10 years, I started chewing gum.

Not all the time, mind you. And mostly only in the car.

But by any definition, I am a frequent consumer of chewing gum.

My brand of choice is Wrigley's 5 Gum Peppermint Cobalt Sugar-Free. The mint is intense (which I love), the flavor lasts a long time (which I really love), and it comes in packs of 15, so it keeps me supplied longer than those old 5-stick packs my mom used to carry in her purse.

The only problem with this habit is that my car perpetually smells faintly like a peppermint oil factory. Most of those who ride with me don't care, but my wife does.

Terry does not particularly like mint. And she certainly does not like the smell of mint in the closed confines of a car.

She refers to my Honda Civic as "the Mint Mobile."

The only thing I can do is try not to chew any gum in the car if I know she's going to occupy the passenger seat in the near future. Even then, I don't know that the fragrance ever really goes away.

The other pitfall of being a gum chewer is becoming an obnoxious gum chewer. Someone who chews loudly and proudly. Someone who chomps their way through every conversation. Someone who must have a stick of gum in their mouth at all times.

I try desperately to avoid being that guy.

I figure, worst comes to worst, I will one day blow up like a blueberry à la Violet Beauregarde in the original "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" as punishment for my gum-related sins. Only instead of dejuicing me, the Oompa Loompas will allow me to explode in a mess of blueberry debris and sticky peppermint gum residue.

As far as my longsuffering wife is concerned, it will be a fair punishment.

Getting to the bottom of this obnoxiously large 1-gallon water jug every day

I am not, by nature, a water drinker. I drink it at the gym in the morning, but after that, it's usually coffee or nothing at all.

I realize this is not a healthy approach to fluid intake, though, so lately I've been trying to up my water consumption by purchasing the big ol' water bottle you see above. I was inspired by my daughter Chloe and my son Jack, both of whom have similarly large H2O containers from which they drink consistently.

This isn't the first time I've tried to take in more water. My inconsistent attempts at becoming more like my dad (who drank water and beer in equally prodigious quantities) stretch back more than 30 years.

When I was marathon training in 2001, for example, I drank a lot of water because I had to in order to keep my body properly hydrated for running dozens of miles a week. The second I crossed the finish line, though, my water drinking plummeted immediately to pre-training levels.

It's not that I don't like water. It's just not a particularly attractive option for me. It's just...you know, water. I can take it or leave it.

Again, though, I understand the health benefits of proper hydration, so I'm giving it another go by setting for myself the daily goal of filling Jumbo the Water Jug and drinking its entire contents. It takes a concerted effort, but I've been doing it.

The inevitable and wholly predictable result, of course, has been an alarming rise in bathroom trips. I have already worn out a path to the men's room at the office. Supposedly your body eventually adjusts to ingesting higher quantities of fluid, but so far my body's only response has been, "Stop drinking so much or else we're going to spend the rest of your life seeking out restrooms."

Actually, finding restrooms has been high on my daily agenda ever since I hit my mid-40s. So that part isn't new.

What is new, however, is the impressive level of bladder control I have developed during work meetings. No longer do I have to rush directly from conference rooms immediately to the nearest urinal.

These days it's more of a controlled trot.

Your kids really are listening...even to the music you play for them

 

Recently, my son Jared texted with this request:

"Can you make a playlist of the songs you played in the van circa 2002? Trying to recall but can't remember some."

When I used to drive the kids around in our Dodge Grand Caravan, I would play for them a range of older music, some of which they would sing along to. At the time I didn't give it much thought, but now I realize those minivan singalongs are probably the stuff of fun childhood memories for them.

Fortunately I didn't have to do too much work because I remembered my daughter Chloe had already made such a playlist, which she dubbed "scott's minivan." I asked her to send it to me (see the screenshot above), and I in turn forwarded it to Jared.

He and I agreed that with only one or two exceptions, Chloe had pretty much nailed the songs in heaviest rotation on family road trips back in those days.

In alphabetical order, these were the tunes on the playlist:

• Brown-Eyed Girl - Van Morrison
• Copacabana - Barry Manilow (OK, OK...a guilty pleasure)
• Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic - The Police
• Jackie Wilson Said - Van Morrison
• Jump - Van Halen
• Love Shack - The B-52s
• Low Rider - War
• Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds - The Beatles
• Mack the Knife - as covered by Sting (an odd pick, but so catchy)
• Maneater - Hall & Oates
• Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da - The Beatles
• The Reflex - Duran Duran
• Road Man - Smash Mouth
• Roxanne - The Police
• When Doves Cry - Prince
• Ya (Rest in Peace) - Colin Hay
• You Make My Dreams Come True - Hall & Oates

The list largely reflects my penchant for the music of the 60s, 70s and 80s, but more importantly, these are songs with strong melodies and, in many cases, fun choruses with which even little kids could sing along.

Sometimes we wonder whether the things we tell our kids really stick with them. My answer is that, heck, if Barry Manilow stays in their heads, your important bits of parental advice have to have gained a foothold in their little brains somewhere.

Today is Sting's birthday. Here are three things he has taught me.

Happy 73rd birthday to the man Stewart Copeland calls "Stingo."

I should clarify that, while I did actually meet Gordon Matthew Sumner (a.k.a., Sting) many years ago, he has not personally taught me anything. We are not friends, which is unsurprising considering he is an international pop superstar and multimillionaire while I am a suburban dad who gets excited when I have $10 in my wallet.

What I mean is, as a fan of Mr. Sting's music for more than 40 years, I have learned a thing or two while watching him from afar. Or a thing or three, I guess, because there are three items on this list.

To wit:

(1) Make room for surprise in your life

Sting has said that, to him, the essence of all music is surprise. If he is not surprised in some way within the first 8 bars of a new song, he isn't likely to listen any further. It's why his own songs often use unorthodox time signatures or unexpected melodies. In a broader, non-musical sense, people like me – people who make lengthy to-do lists and like to plan their days down to the last detail – probably need to loosen up a bit and allow the universe to surprise them every once in a while. While meticulous planning gives you control, it also sucks away some of the joy of spontaneity. As I get older, I realize that life can't wait to surprise you, if only you will let it.

(2) You will never reach the point where you no longer need to practice your craft, whatever it is

Sting practices music every day. He plays complicated Bach sonatas. He studies intricately written pieces. He runs through rudimentary drills on his guitar. This is a 73-year-old, multi-Grammy-winning musician who still practices constantly, even on days when he doesn't especially feel like it. In any endeavor, being willing to sacrifice in the name of self-improvement is the one key to success we sometimes don't want to talk about.

(3) Take risks, and be willing to live with the consequences

Sting left one of the biggest bands in the world to embark on a solo career in 1985. He recruited young black jazz musicians to help him make a debut album that in many ways was nothing like the albums he had made with The Police. The fact that that album went on to sell millions of copies, while nice for Sting, wasn't the point. The point was that he followed his passions and made the music he wanted to make. Not the music he necessarily thought others wanted him to make. Throughout his career, this approach has sometimes produced commercial and artistic success, and other times has produced neither. Regardless, he has followed his gut and done what his heart told him to do. That's not nearly as easy as it sounds, but it's one heck of an approach to life.

Sleeping in until 6:00am is suddenly one of my favorite parts of the week

I know a few people will read that headline and ask, "Since when is 6:00am sleeping in?"

And you're right. For most, a 6:00am wake-up time isn't exactly an indulgence.

But I am, and for most of my life have been, an early riser. Not because I've had to do it for work or anything, but mostly because I love getting a head start on the day.

Since I began going to the gym five mornings a week, I've been getting out of bed around 4:45am. I like to make it to Ohio Sports & Fitness just ahead of what I call The 5:30 Crew, which is a small but dedicated contingent of fellow pre-dawn exercisers.

Whenever I have a session with my trainer Kirk, I stay in bed until 5:15, since he and I don't meet up until 6:00am anyway.

But on those two rest days a week, I get lazy and sleep all the way until the big hand on the clock points straight up and the little hand points straight down.

Scandalous!

I could probably stay in bed even longer, but my body is always ready and raring to go by 6:00. Plus I really have to pee by that point, so there's no use fighting it.

Still, I can't tell you how much I enjoy those "sleep-in" days. I always feel like I've earned them after three or four days in a row of early gym-going, then scrambling to come home, shower, change and head to the office for a full day of work.

I should point out that in order to get a decent amount of rest, I'll sometimes ingest a couple of 5mg melatonin gummies the night before. I recently blogged about how I need to have my wife in the room in order to fall asleep, but the gummies have changed that situation drastically.

Now I rarely even notice when she comes to bed, that's how deeply asleep I am.

Interestingly – and don't ask me why I remember the exact date, I just do – I got almost no sleep 28 years ago last night because I was so worried about starting a new job the next day at a company called Self-Funded Plans. That sort of anxiety-induced insomnia used to hit me several times a year.

But these days? Never. My heads hits the pillow, and within a couple of minutes I'm out.

I wake up when it's technically still night time, of course, but there's always those 6:00am sleep-in days to make me feel like I'm living a life of luxury.

When the time comes for grandchildren, fine. Right now? I'm good.

We have five children and zero grandchildren, and I'm absolutely OK with these numbers.

My wife, on the other hand, while not quite chomping at the bit for one of our kids to have offspring of their own, is probably a little more anxious than me for it to happen.

To clarify, I'm sure that if and when we get grandkids, it's going to be great. All of the grandparents I talk to tell me how wonderful it is.

And I believe them.

For the moment, though, I don't need to be anyone's Grandpa.

Or "Grampy," or "Gramps," or "Grandad," or "Grandpap," or even "Granddude," which is apparently gaining in popularity.

I have been "Dad" for many years, and it's still my favorite title. I'm going to stick with it as long as I can (which is presumably the rest of my life).

It has nothing to do with getting or feeling old. I'm nearly 55, which is still middle-aged but creeping inexorably toward senior citizenhood. I'm not fooling anyone anyway.

I just don't feel the same sort of life milestone momentum I used to feel in my 20s and 30s when I got married, bought a house, had kids, progressed in my career, etc.

These days, I'm somewhat more of a go-with-the-flow, take-it-as-it-comes-and-don't-rush-it kind of guy. Or at least much more than I used to be.

It really does feel like the best approach to life, and it only took me a half-century to learn it.

When grandchildren do enter our lives, we will fawn over them and spoil them in the finest Grandma/Grandpa tradition. We will give them things Mom and Dad don't. We will take them on trips and send them presents for no reason and attend every single one of their little league games and school concerts.

I have no doubt Terry and I will be A-1, top-of-the-line grandparents.

But not now. Not quite yet. There's simply no hurry.

For the moment, my focus is going to the gym five days a week so that, when those grandbabies do arrive, I will have the energy to play with them, wrestle with them, take them places, and generally keep up with them.

When it's my time, believe me, I will not be Rocking Chair Grandpa. I'll be Superhero Grandpa.

Or Granddude. I haven't decided on my title yet.

Generational labels: Accurate or useless? Helpful or harmful?

As someone born in 1969, I am considered to be part of Gen X (birth years 1965 through 1980). We're tucked neatly between the larger Baby Boomer and Millennial generations.

Though I'm not sure that really means anything.

When we were younger, we Gen Xers were defined in pop culture and in the media as being cynical, disaffected slackers. We were associated with alt rock, hip hop, punk, grunge and heavy metal music. We were typically seen as "latchkey kids" whose moms worked outside of the home and who were often victims of soaring divorce rates.

None of that was true for me. I'm not a cynical person, I didn't really get into any of those genres of music, and I'm the product of a two-parent household in which my mom only worked outside of the home when I was much older.

Placing someone in a box labeled "Baby Boomer," "Millennial," "the Silent Generation," "Gen X," "Gen Z" or whatever can be fun, but I've never found it to be particularly useful. People are individuals, and while they're affected by the era in which they grow up, they are not defined by it.

Newsweek recently published an article headlined "10 Ways You'll Know Someone is Gen X, According to ChatGPT" in which they used artificial intelligence to come up with a list of tell-tale Gen X characteristics. I measured myself against this list to see if I was in any way a prototypical Gen Xer.

Spoiler alert: The results were mixed but at least somewhat accurate, as I might have suspected.

Here is Newsweek's (or ChatGPT's) list of Gen X descriptives and a quick analysis of how well each describes me:

(1) "Nostalgia for 1980s and 1990s Pop Culture" - This is half-true for me. I have great fondness for all things 80s but little regard for the 90s. As I've mentioned, I was too busy raising kids in the 90s to care what else was going on. So we'll split the difference. Result: Half-yes, half-no. 0.5 points.

(2) "Preference for Analog Media" - My generation is said to have a preference for vinyl, cassettes, CDs, and VHS tapes. Me personally? Good riddance to all of them, I say. Long live digital music. Result: No. 0 points.

(3) "Independent and Self-Reliant Attitude" - This is sort of a yes for me, I guess? I'm not a DIY guy for most things. I'm quick to call in a professional, which I would like to think has saved me a lot of time and trouble over the years while also depleting my bank account. But when it comes to non-home-repair-related activities, yes, I'm pretty self-sufficient. Again, let's split the difference.  Result: Half-yes, half-no. 0.5 points.

(4) "Cynical Sense of Humor" - Yeah, OK, they got me here. My humor was largely shaped by 80s stand-up comedians, who tended to be cynical and sarcastic. Result: Yes. 1 point.

(5) "Fashion Throwbacks" - According to Newsweek, we Gen X types have a fondness for the clothes of our youth and incorporate elements of them into our current wardrobes. Not me, boy. I had enough neon in the late 80s. Result: No. 0 points.

(6) "Language and Communication Style" - To quote Newsweek's ChatGPT-generated article, "They might use phrases like 'whatever,' 'totally,' 'cool,' or 'dude' naturally in conversation. They may also roll their eyes at newer slang like 'lit' or 'yeet.'" Sadly, I can't help but speak like an actual grown-up. Yet I don't roll my eyes at a new generation's slang because I'm not a cranky old person. Result: No. 0 points.

(7) "Technology Adaptation" - Again, they got me. From the article: "While they are tech-savvy, having adapted to the digital age, they may still exhibit a degree of caution or skepticism toward new technology. They might fondly remember the time before smartphones and social media dominated everyday life." Yeah, that's me. I embrace new tech while reserving the right to be skeptical of some of it. Result: Yes. 1 point.

(8) "Media Consumption Habits" - OK, the Newsweek folks and their AI allies are on a roll now. "Gen Xers might still consume traditional media like newspapers, magazines and cable TV. They are likely to enjoy reruns of their favorite old shows or listen to classic rock or '90s playlists on the radio." That would actually be 80s playlists for me, but broadly speaking, they nailed it. Result: Yes. 1 point.

(9) "Work Ethic and Career Outlook" - Gen Xers, they say, value work-life balance, partially in reaction to the burnout often seen among Baby Boomers. We are said to appreciate flexibility. True and true. I have to hand it to them, they're starting to get me. Result: Yes. 1 point.

(10) "Political and Social Awareness" - Newsweek says we "may lean toward centrist or independent viewpoints, often skeptical of extreme ideologies." The magazine adds that Gen Xers "tend to be pragmatic and open-minded." I would like to think that's true of me. Result: Yes. 1 point.

FINAL TOTAL: 6 out of 10 "yes"

The article captured my personality better than I thought it would. But I think my point still stands: We are all unique, and no overarching label will usefully describe a person no matter when they were born.