I was a contestant on two TV game shows (and I'm so very sorry for bringing it up again)

Earlier this summer I seriously considered making this a once-a-week blog in place of the three-times-a-week cadence I've followed for the last couple of years.

For one thing, I was looking for ways to free up my daily schedule, and reducing the amount of time I spend writing each week seemed like an easy fix. Secondly, and probably more importantly, sometimes I simply don't know what to write here.

I have the hardest time coming up with blog topics. I feel like I've told you all of my stories. I already rehash old posts once a month as part of our Blog Rerun series, and there are subjects I've covered two, three, four times or more.

Apart from Terry and the kids, who naturally are the main focus of this blog, the topic I've come back to time and again is my appearances on the game shows "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" and "The Price Is Right." Longtime readers of the blog are sighing right now and getting ready to click away, as they've heard me drone on about this over and over.

As for the rest of you, I won't even get into the details other than to offer video clips of my appearances below in case you're bored and somewhat curious about them. If you want to know more about the what, how and why of these little adventures of mine, just use the search box at the top of the blog to search for "Millionaire," "Price Is Right" or "game shows." That should bring up past posts on the subject.

(NOTE: I've never been able to figure out how to get the search box to appear on the mobile version of the blog, so if you're on your phone, scroll to the bottom and click on "View web version." Everything will get really small, but you should be able to zoom in on the search box in the top right of the screen.)

Anyway – and please understand how much I feel like a digital harlot right now – here's my appearance on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" from January 30-31, 2003. It's low-res, but it works:

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire
Recorded from WOIO-TV 19, Jan. 30-31, 2003

You can also watch that same video here on Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/736926100  I used to have it on YouTube, but a few years ago the folks at Sony forced me to take it down because of copyright violation. It had something like 70,000 views at the time, and while it didn't seem fair that I needed to remove a 20-year-old VHS-recorded video clip, I didn't have a choice.

On the other hand, CBS doesn't seem to mind that my "Price Is Right" video is on YouTube and still going strong 18+ years since I appeared on the show on February 16, 2007. It has 95,000 views to date, though that has nothing to do with me. I've discovered there's an ardent digital community of "Price Is Right" fans, and I believe my recording of that particular episode is the only one that's easily accessible online.

"The Price Is Right" - February 16, 2007
Also recorded from WOIO-TV 19.

I went home with $32,000 on Millionaire and four electric guitars plus $2,500 from Price Is Right.

Again, anyone who has read my stuff over the years already knows all of this. To them I apologize for rehashing it, but I'm telling you, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO POST SOMETIMES.

Maybe I'll come back Wednesday with a little more inspiration.

Running through neighbors' backyards probably carried less risk in the early 80s than it does now

Mr. Kevin C. Buchheit, the man who served as my Phone-a-Friend when I appeared on "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire" (true story).

Today is my friend Kevin's birthday. I've known Kev as long as I've known our mutual friend Matt, which is to say since about 1974.

Kev has always been one of my best friends. We shared a lot of common interests growing up, and I'm very proud of the work he did for 20 years as a U.S. Border Patrol agent (a job from which he is now officially retired).

Back when we were annoying adolescents, Kevin, Matt, Jason, Todd and others of our band of Harding Drive friends would do something we simply called "The Route." We would traverse the entire length of our street on foot, but not using the sidewalk.

No, we would do this by sneaking through people's backyards, one after another. This would involve hopping fences, pushing through pricker bushes, avoiding dogs, and generally trying to keep a low profile as we trespassed on everyone's property.

The logical question is why exactly we did this. And I have no logical answer.

I have no answer at all, actually, logical or otherwise. It was just something obnoxious that, had the Wickliffe Police ever been notified, probably would have landed us a stern talking-to, if not outright conviction on some low-level misdemeanor.

I believe I completed the entire Route on both sides of the street, though for whatever reason, the west side was easier to navigate than the east (fewer bush-related obstacles and lower fences, as I recall).

As I think back on this, I realize we were fortunate not to have been threatened by an angry neighbor at one point or another. Plenty of them probably owned firearms, and some were likely of the shoot-first, ask-questions-later variety.

But then, the people of Harding Drive tended to be a little more tight-knit in those days, and I'm guessing most would have recognized who we were (even in the darkness of a summer evening) and simply yelled at us, rather than putting a bullet in our backsides.

Nowadays? My sense is that just as many people own guns in 2024 as did 40 years ago, but now they seem to be less trusting and more likely to use them on unidentified intruders.

All of which is to say I'm thankful we survived long enough to celebrate Kevin's 55th birthday today. Lord knows, we pulled plenty of stupid stunts back then that could have kept at least one of us from making it this far.

Happy birthday, Kev.

Oh man, did I bomb the Wheel of Fortune audition

These are the faces Vanna and Pat would likely have made if the producers had let me appear on Wheel of Fortune.

Before we get into this, I think it's important to mention two things:

1. Yes, as you'll see in a moment, my journey through the Wheel of Fortune audition process ended badly. But for the 6,738th time in the history of this blog, I feel compelled to remind you that I did appear on both Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and The Price Is Right, and I did OK on those shows. It's not like I'm completely incompetent in these matters.
   
   
2. In my defense, I had no idea I'm simply no good at playing Wheel of Fortune. Not until I actually tried it did I realize I have zero aptitude for the game.

OK, so what happened?

Well, it all started a couple of months ago when, on a whim, I decided to apply to become a Wheel of Fortune contestant. This involved filling out a simple online form and submitting a one-minute video of myself talking about my life and why I would be a good fit for the show.

That was the easy part. I'm good at that kind of stuff, and less than two weeks later, a contestant coordinator called me for a phone interview. We talked for 10 minutes, and I apparently did well enough to advance to the third round of the process.

I found this out when I received an email on a Thursday afternoon saying they wanted me to do an online audition the next day. Yikes! The email encouraged practicing before the audition, so I downloaded the Wheel of Fortune app and played several dozen games.

I also watched reruns of the show and played along with some of the Wheel Toss-Up Round videos that are all over YouTube.

I did start to vaguely worry when I was rarely able to guess the Toss-Up answers before the contestants in the videos, but at that point I still figured I was probably as good as anyone else at the game.

The next day I logged on via Zoom and discovered I would be auditioning with two delightful young women also seeking to become contestants. They were both very likeable. More important, it soon became apparent they were also much better at Wheel of Fortune than me.

The first thing we did was play some Toss-Up, in which letters in a puzzle are revealed one at a time until someone buzzes in with the answer. In this case, we just had to say "Buzz!" to indicate we were ready to respond.

We played, I think, eight Toss-Up puzzles. Know how many I answered? Zero. I didn't get even one of them. The two young women answered all eight between them.

It then slowly began dawning on me that I was either too old and slow to complete with them, or else I simply don't have an eye for word puzzles like I thought I did,.

It was probably a little of both.

Anyway, we then spent a couple of minutes introducing ourselves and being asked questions by Shannon, the producer running the online audition. As I said, I'm pretty good at this and showed well there.

Then we were given some one-on-one time with Shannon during which we were individually shown four screens, each displaying four Wheel of Fortune puzzles (so 16 puzzles total). Certain letters were already revealed in each puzzle, but unlike the Toss-Ups, that was all we got. No other letters would be turned over.

We had 90 seconds to try and solve each screen full of four puzzles. When the 90 seconds were up, you automatically moved on to the next screen no matter how well (or poorly) you did.

I did not do especially well. I think I got three puzzles right on one of the screens, but I scored a big fat zero on another and got maybe one or two on the others.

I just couldn't figure it out. I simply can't "see" the answers the way others can when they look at partially solved Wheel of Fortune puzzles. I tried talking and sounding them out, but for the most part, I failed.

And that was the end of the audition. We were told the producers would get in touch with us if they were interested in having us come out to Los Angeles (at our own expense) to appear as contestants on the show.

Shannon didn't officially say I had failed, but...it was obvious I didn't have the skills for the game. I can talk well and be personable and energetic on camera, but it doesn't mean anything if you can't actually, you know, solve the puzzles. Which I largely cannot.

I have just enough game show experience to know the results of my audition were a gracious "thanks but no thanks."

I actually don't feel too bad about the whole attempt. For one thing, it's not like this was my one and only shot at being on a nationally televised game show. This was going to be, at best, the icing on the cake after Millionaire and Price Is Right.

Also, no amount of prep was going to make me better at playing Wheel of Fortune. I simply don't have the right brain chemistry for it. And that's OK.

Really, it's OK. That's what I keep telling myself.

Because I was on two other game shows before. And I won cash and prizes. A good amount of cash and some nice prizes.

I don't need your stupid little game, Pat Sajak. You and Vanna can go ahead and enjoy having my 21-year-old audition opponents on your show.

I, in the meantime, will take solace in the fact that one time Bob Barker shook my hand and complimented me on my custom Price Is Right t-shirt.

So there.

This is quick story about me and Ken Burns

When I was on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire," I correctly answered a question about documentary filmmaker Ken Burns. It was about the type of documentaries he had produced to that point in 2003, and it was relatively easy for anyone even passingly familiar with his work.

Fast forward about seven years and I'm sitting at the City Club of Cleveland listening to Mr. Burns speak. He was great, as were all of the speakers I used to go and see at the City Club back then.

(This, by the way, is one of the biggest things I miss about working in Downtown Cleveland. I became a member of the City Club just for the chance to attend these lunchtime gatherings they would hold featuring world-class speakers. It's amazing the array of people I saw there.)

When the session ended and everyone in the room headed for the elevators, Mr. Burns was surrounded by people wanting to say hello, shake his hand, ask him questions, etc. He was clearly in a hurry to get out, presumably because he had to be somewhere immediately afterward or was catching a plane or something.

I patiently followed the little blob of people gathered around him until I could briefly get his attention. I had to walk fast to keep up with him, but when I told him my Millionaire story, he stopped and looked at me.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yes," I said, "true story."

"And you got the question right?"

"I sure did."

"How much was it worth?"

I couldn't remember and told him so, though it was one of the early questions among the 10 I answered correctly.

"Huh," he said. "Being the answer to a question on a game show. That's a new one for me. Thank you for telling me about it."

And he meant it.

If you're not familiar with Ken Burns and his PBS documentaries on baseball, jazz, the Civil War, and a host of other topics, check out his IMDB page. He's a fascinating individual.

It's my blog and I can talk about the fact that I was on two game shows any time I want

If you've read this blog (or its forerunner "They Still Call Me Daddy") for any length of time, you know the only two interesting facts about me are:

1. I have five children, which in itself isn't really "interesting" since there are a lot of families that have five or more kids.
2. I was a contestant on two nationally televised game shows: "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" and "The Price Is Right."

The game show thing is territory we've covered before, I realize. I wrote a whole post about it 3½ years ago.

So if I'm going to bring it up again, I should have something new to say about it.

Which I do not.

What I DO have to offer is video of my appearances on both shows. Is that enough? Does that justify me taking up a few minutes of your valuable time to discuss it again?

No, it does not.

Yet I'm doing it anyway. Why? Because I still think the whole thing is just so COOL, you know?

I don't write about it because I think it's some great achievement or anything. It was dumb luck that I got onto those shows. I write about it because, seriously, how many people do you know who have appeared on two game shows? Not counting me, it has to be zero, right? I'm guessing it is.

To this day, those shows are two of the most remarkable experiences I've had. And it's not going to happen again, given how quickly I am mentally deteriorating. Those two contestant slots are all I'm going to get.

So if you're one of the five or so people whom I've not yet forced to watch these videos, here they are.

First is my "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" appearance, which spanned two shows and aired January 30-31, 2003. I can't seem to embed it here, but you can click that link to watch it. KEY TAKEAWAY: Meredith Vieira touched me a lot.

I should have won more money, but hey, $32K isn't a bad day's work. On to "The Price Is Right." This episode aired on February 16, 2007:

And that's it. I'm done. Really. I will not bring this up again for at LEAST a year. Maybe six months. Four weeks for sure.

OK, I promise I won't mention it tomorrow. Does that work?

I think I have milestone fatigue

Yesterday, Terry and I spent nearly seven hours at Cleveland State University for Elissa's college orientation. She signed her first-ever college housing contract, selected a meal plan, and started to make the friends who will have a lasting effect on her four-year undergraduate experience.

Tonight is Elissa's prom. She and Sean will attend the dance and then go to the after-prom activities, and they will of course remember the night for the rest of their lives.

Today is also Elissa's last day of classes as a high school student. Starting Monday she will engage in a two-week senior project working in the marketing department at Great Lakes Mall, with the goal of gaining a taste of real-life work experience.

Two weeks from today, Elissa will graduate from high school, wearing her cap and gown and walking off the stage with the diploma for which she has worked since the age of 5.

I'm not sure I can keep up with everything.

More than once, I've mentioned how much I enjoy having a senior in high school. It's a fun and exhausting experience, with enough highs and lows (both physical and emotional) to fill a thousand pages in the kids journal Terry maintains and even remembers to update every few years.

But now that we're near the end of it, I think I'm running out of steam. The last six weeks or so of senior year are so crammed with life achievements and memorable milestones, you as a parent start to take them for granted. And I suspect Elissa may be doing the same.

Yes, these are things we'll all remember forever. But right now they just seem routine. It shouldn't be that way, but when everything comes this fast and this furious, you lose a little perspective.

You know what it reminds me of? My game show experience. (NOTE: You know how I deny it every time Terry accuses me of deliberately bringing up the game show thing in conversation or on this blog? Well, she may be right on this one.)

But seriously, it reminds me of my "Millionaire" and "Price Is Right" appearances. When you're thrust into the middle of an experience like that, it doesn't seem real after awhile. Instead of trying to process the strangeness of what you're doing, your mind instead turns it into a mundane experience. "Why, yes, Bob Barker, I'm CONSTANTLY playing cheesy pricing games for the chance to win a new car and a trip to Tahiti. It gets so boring sometimes. Why do you ask?"

It's the same thing when dealing with this particular phase of my 18-year-old daughter's life, which is kind of a shame. Maybe if they spaced these things out a little more over the school year, I would appreciate them more. But then I suppose that would take something away from it all. Part of the fun, at least for the student, is the pace of events that make up your 12th-grade year.

I'm glad summer vacation is upon us, if only because it gives us a chance to catch our breaths, enjoy the warm days, and take it easy for awhile.

That is, of course, after we get past Elissa's graduation party. And soccer camp in mid-June. And the family mini-vacation we're planning. And Fourth of July activities. And our annual trip to church Bible school. And summer sports practices.

I seriously need a nap.

My 15 minutes (maybe 20) of TV fame were up long ago

Everyone has something interesting or strange they've done in their life. And I do mean everyone. I've never met a person yet who, if you talk to them long enough, won't surprise you with some quirky hobby, experience or brush with fame they've had.

Mine, as my wife will readily tell you, is that I've appeared as a contestant on two game shows: "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire" and "The Price Is Right." I say that my wife will tell you because she claims I'm so impressed by this fact about myself that I make a point of bringing it up with any new person I meet.

This isn't true, of course. This blog has been humming along for, what, three months? And I don't remember mentioning it once.

Because I readily acknowledge two facts about my game show experience:

(1) The whole thing was a lot of dumb luck on my part, and

(2) The only person who's truly impressed is me. I know this.

Game shows went out of style long ago. When I was growing up, you could turn on the TV almost any time between the hours of, say, 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. and find a game show on somewhere. And that was when we only had four channels! And our TVs weighed 500 pounds and were operated by little handcranks. And we had to ride our horse and buggy into town if we wanted to watch one of those newfangled "cable" TV shows.

Anyway, yes, I realize that game shows are more mocked than respected these days. This process started 20 years ago and reached its nadir with the retirement of Bob Barker. Bob was the last link to the good old days of game shows, and when he left "The Price Is Right," a piece of the past went out with him.

I actually got to meet Bob when I was on "Price." (That's what we veterans call it: "Price." Well, OK, I'm probably the only who calls it that. Just go with it.) I made the decision to fly out to Los Angeles and attempt to get on the show in 2006, soon after Bob announced that that season would be his last. No offense to Drew Carey, but if I was ever going to become a contestant, it had to be with Bob.

I also really liked Meredith Vieira, the host of "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire." I was a contestant there during the first season of the syndicated show, which began in 2002 after ABC had managed to air the original so many times that Americans got sick of Regis Philbin.

Meredith was very touchy feely. She was always reaching over and patting my shoulder or touching my arm. After the show aired, people told me she was flirting with me. I told them to watch other episodes. Meredith flirts with EVERYBODY. Man or woman, doesn't matter to Meredith. Her way of making you feel comfortable in the Hot Seat is to hit on you. I guess it works.

Bob was also very smooth. And tan. Like scary tanned. He was bronzed from head to toe, and given that he lives in Southern California, it was hard to tell how much of it was real and how much was spray-on.

It didn't matter, though, because this was BOB. Right in front of me was Bob Barker. In the flesh. This was the guy I had watched countless times while laying on the couch when I was sick and stayed home from school. The guy who carried that long microphone around and wooed the ladies without even trying. BOB BARKER.

He did have pretty significant crows feet, of course, but give the guy a break. He was 83 years old at the time! And it was clear that, if he had wanted, he could still break me in half. Yet he looked you right in the eye when he spoke and treated you like you were the most important contestant in the history of the show. That's something he learned over 35 years of hosting TPIR, I'm sure, but it's also largely an innate talent.

During the commercial breaks, Bob would take questions from the audience, and he was hilarious. These were probably all questions he had been asked a million times before and his answers were likely rehearsed, but it didn't matter. People howled with laughter. Bob was in control of that studio from the moment he walked in.

Anyway, to answer the questions that 95% of people ask (and that I would certainly ask) when they find out about me and the game show thing:

(1) How did I get on? Like I said, dumb luck. The Millionaire people held tryouts in Cleveland and I think I just happened to fit their "Goofy White Guy" profile quota for the day. And for Price, my pre-show interview happened to be with a producer with whom I could really relate. He and I clicked. If it had been someone else, I doubt I would have been chosen to "come on down."

(2) How did I do? I won $32,000 on Millionaire and $2,500 and four electric guitars on Price. One guy in my Millionaire group of contestants won $250,000. It made my $32K look kind of piddly. On Price, I made it all the way to the Showcase Showdown at the end of the show before losing.

(3) What question did I miss on Millionaire? It was about Mary Cassatt and the kinds of portraits she painted. How come no one ever cares about the 10 questions I got right?

(4) Was the big wheel on "Price Is Right" heavy? Yeah, sort of. But if you're a guy up there spinning it, the last thing you want is to give it a wimpy spin and get booed off the stage, so you try your best to wing it around several times in manly fashion.

(5) Did they take taxes out of your earnings? The Millionaire people did not, while the Price people took California taxes but not federal taxes. The taxes actually weren't that bad, surprisingly.

(6) What did you do with the money? Kept my family alive with a roof over their heads. And I think I bought a hockey jersey, too. I'm quite the big spender.

I'm sometimes asked what my next game show will be, and the answer is "none of the above." I think my short-lived TV career is pretty well over. It's nearly impossible to get onto "Jeopardy" and "Wheel of Fortune." And I have no desire to do something like "Survivor" or "Fear Factor." So I'll just keep the DVD recordings of my appearances along with my memories and leave it at that.

And I'll keep my hockey jersey, too. It really is cool.