One of my favorite jokes and, less importantly, why

A couple of years ago, an Oxford University study determined (don't ask me how) the 10 funniest jokes ever.

You can peruse the list for yourself. Inevitably, you'll chuckle at some and scratch your head at others. Not because you don't understand them, but because you'll be thinking, "Wait, THAT'S one of the 10 funniest jokes ever?"

Because humor is, as much as anything I can think of, a subjective endeavor. I know this because my wife and I often have what is commonly termed Incredibly Opposite Senses of Humor. Something will bring me to tears I laugh so hard, and she will look at me without the trace of a smile and shake her head, as she often does as she wistfully looks back on the day of our marriage and wonders how things could have gone so horribly wrong.

The point is, one man's gut-buster is another man's "Huh?"

My absolute favorite joke from that scientifically proven list of 10 is this one:

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there's a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says, "What the hell was that all about?"

I first heard that joke, or some variation of it at least, many years ago. But it still makes me laugh even today. Why? Three reasons:

(1) The Unanswered Questions: Why was this snail coming to the guy's door? Why did the guy react by throwing the snail away? Did he realize the snail could talk, or no? What is so important that the snail spent three years of his life slithering back to the front door so he could get another chance to talk to the guy AND voice his displeasure? I love thinking about all of these things.

(2) The Swearing: Yes, I consider "what the hell" to be "swearing." This is because, as a general rule, I don't swear. I never really have much. Don't know why, just didn't. So it still has a bit of a scandalous comic effect on me when I hear it. And I love the idea of the indignant snail saying it.

(3) The Absurdity of It All: You either like Monty Python or you don't. There's no in between. Same with a hundred other comedians, actors, sketch groups, etc. I love, love, love Python, whose skits and movies always rested on some comically unreal premise. The whole situation with the snail having a valid reason to visit this guy's house is hilarious, even apart from the joke itself.

I may have over-analyzed that a little, but if nothing else, it gives you a sense of what makes this 47-year-old white American male laugh. It's a tad frightening, I know.

Are you bad at telling jokes? You can be 100% better in 8 minutes.

Look, I know, 8 minutes doesn't sound like a lot of time, but it IS a lot of time in this day and age. You've got things to do like, I don't know, watch "Alf" reruns or play Candy Crush on your phone or read this blog. Important things.

But if you're someone who ever tells a joke, or if you're a fan of stand-up comedy, or both, this 8-minute breakdown of what makes one hilarious joke by the comedian Louis CK truly funny is for you. This is fascinating stuff. Not to mention the fact that the joke itself is great, to be appreciated particularly by anyone who has ever had to take care of little kids.

Here it is:

Wasn't that cool? I know that neither you nor I necessarily have Louis CK's talent for telling a story, but that doesn't matter. What matters are the elements of the joke and presenting them right, and being committed to the joke. That's how you get laughs.

I'm taking this too seriously, aren't I? I don't know. I just really appreciate a well-told joke. If you're going to tell it, tell it right. That's all I'm saying.

My favorite joke

Almost everyone has a favorite joke they like to tell. Mine happens to be the same as my father's. He used to tell this one in slightly different form, but I stumbled across it this way on the Internet and decided to post it as is:

There once was a monastery that was very strict. Following a vow of silence, no one was allowed to speak at all. But there was one exception to this rule: Every 10 years, the monks were permitted to speak just two words.

After spending his first 10 years at the monastery, one monk went to the abbot. "It has been 10 years," said the abbot. "What are the two words you would like to speak?"

"Bed... hard..." said the monk.

"I see," replied the abbot.

Ten years later, the monk returned to the abbot's office. "It has been 10 more years," said the abbot. "What are the two words you would like to speak?"

"Food... stinks..." said the monk.

"I see," replied the abbot.

Yet another 10 years passed and the monk once again met with the abbot, who asked, "What are your two words now, after these 10 years?"

"I... quit!" said the monk.

"Well, I can see why," replied the abbot. "All you ever do is complain."

I still laugh when I hear that joke. Every single time. I'm easy that way.