How strange is it that I don't like getting a massage?

One of the great aspects of being me is that there aren't many things I don't like. I eat just about anything and will try almost any experience at least once, which means life tends to be pretty enjoyable. I just kind of go with the flow.

But there are some things I just can't get into. For example, I've mentioned here before that I'm not a big fan of walking around without a shirt on. Not sure why, it's just not my thing.

I'm also not much into being touched by non-family members. That sounds weird in so many ways, but what I mean is that, other than my wife and hugs/snuggles with the kids, I'm fine with you, ya know, not touching me.

Which was one of the things that made my "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire" experience so strange. The host, Meredith Vieira, was extremely nice, which is a good thing when you're dealing with nervous people sitting under bright lights answering trivia questions in front of an audience for the chance to win thousands of dollars. But she was also very touchy feely. Every comment was accompanied by a hand on your shoulder or a rubbing of your forearm.

When she asked me (several times) how I was doing, I wanted to say, "Fine, Meredith, fine. I'd be even better, in fact, if you could keep your hands to yourself."

But I didn't. You don't want to risk angering the host when someone is willing to write you a check for five figures.

It's not like it's a phobia for me or anything. I hug people to whom I'm not related all the time and it's fine. I'm just not looking for it to go any further than that.

Which brings us to the subject of getting a massage. My wife loves massages. She gets them from a very skilled friend of ours named Meghan.

Meghan, it turns out, is extremely good at what she does. She's a borderline miracle worker, as far as Terry is concerned.

So, knowing I can always use any sort of stress reliever, Terry very thoughtfully last Christmas got me a gift certificate good for one 1-hour massage from Meghan.

And I gave it right back to Terry and told her to use it.

This is nothing against Meghan, you understand. This is nothing against practitioners of massage therapy in general. They all provide a wonderful service. It's just not a service I'm interested in.

I realize I don't have to be naked to get a massage or anything, but that's not the point. I could be wearing a parka and snow pants and I'm still not interested in having you knead my flesh. Terry can do it to me, that's cool. Just not you. Or anyone else you know.

Is that weird? Am I just a freak about this? Maybe I am. I've had a massage before, years ago, and it felt nice. But I couldn't completely relax at any point during the experience because: (a) stranger, and (b) touching me.

So there you go. If you're looking to buy me something, a massage isn't the way to go. Nor is jellied ox tendon. I ate that when I went to China 10 years ago and didn't like it, either. Just trying to save you and me both some embarrassment.

You're welcome.

I need to de-stress but am stressing out over how to do it

Having a family history of heart disease, I have gone to some lengths to try and lessen my risk of dying prematurely from coronary artery disease or similar ailments.

I eat fairly healthy.

I exercise.

I (try to) maintain a healthy weight.

I'm generally a happy person with a reliable network of social support around me.

Those are all boxes I can tick off  on the "prevent a heart attack" checklist.

But that list invariably includes a fifth item on which I fall short: Stress management.

Stress is a killer. Just ask any primary care doctor or cardiologist and they can probably give you examples of patients whose early demise can be traced back to allowing too much stress in their lives.

It's hard for me to say how stressed I am versus the average person. Like I said, I tend to be fairly positive, but I constantly worry about various aspects of my job and family life. Am I on top of everything? Am I doing what I'm supposed to do? How am I going to get everything done that's on my to-do list?

It's fair to say that I do register somewhere on the stress scale, at least enough to the point that managing that stress and its ill effects is something I should, um, worry about.

But how to do it? The options vary.

A lot of books and health blogs tell you to meditate, particularly in the morning. And I should probably try it. But I already get up way too early for my own tastes (4:45 a.m. most days), and even setting the alarm 15 minutes earlier is a deal-breaker for me. So finding time is a problem.

How about massage? Ugh. I know that many people – my wife chief among them – are big fans of massage. She even bought me a gift certificate for Christmas for a free massage from a friend of ours who is very skilled at it.

But...I don't know. I'm just not into having people not named Terry Tennant engage in anything resembling extended physical contact with me. Rather than relax me, I'm afraid massage will just cause me to tense up even worse. So I'm not sure there.

How about reiki? Not familiar with it? Go here for a quick explanation. My sister Debbie is a trained reiki practitioner, so I've got an "in" on this one. Reiki is a really cool Japanese technique that aids in stress reduction and relaxation, both of which I could obviously use. The only downside here, again, is time. Gotta find time to get together with Deb so she could do her reiki magic on me, a service for which I would be willing to pay her. But when? I don't know.

They also tell you that simple deep breathing helps, and I've tried it before. It does work, but it's difficult for me to get into the habit. And it's such an easy fix that part of me doesn't trust it does anything tangible, which just goes to show you I apparently have issues that go far beyond simple meditation or deep relaxation.

Ultimately, what I'll probably die from is a heart attack brought on by years of indecision over how to de-stress. That, in one sentence, describes the paradox of being me. The whole thing just stresses me out...