My wife and I have been sitting in the bleachers since 1999

All five of our children have participated in sports of one kind or another.

The result has been that, over more than two decades, Terry and I have watched countless soccer, t-ball, baseball, and football games. And don't forget all of the freezing cross country meets and rain-soaked track invitationals.

I coached many of those events, which meant that in addition to the natural nervousness that comes from hoping your own kid does well, I also had to worry about equal playing time and securing post-game snacks for other people's kids.

I wouldn't change any of it, of course, but lately I've marveled at how big a part of our life it has been.

It started with Elissa as the cutest little 5-year-old t-ball player you'll ever want to see, and it's likely to end in a couple of years on a high school track just before Jack graduates.

In between there have been some truly incredible moments. There have also been a few lowlights, including the time I told a portly soccer referee to "lay off the doughnuts" after I watched my son get viciously fouled with no call. (There should have been a whistle, but I wish I hadn't said that.)

Jack is our last student-athlete, and his specialty is distance running. He runs cross country and does the middle- and long-distance events in track. I think he's crazy, but then again, as a former sprinter, I think all distance runners are crazy.

I keep telling myself to savor every race and appreciate every moment we have left watching him compete. Everyone says it ends sooner than you'd like, and I can see how that will be true.

But I'll admit that sometimes, when I'm shivering my way through an eight-hour, 35-degree track meet, I allow myself to think for just a second that maybe it would be OK if we could fast-forward to Jack's senior year.

Then, of course, he zooms past us on the track and we cheer for him as loud as we can and it's all good again.

It's amazing how fast you warm up when you have the increasingly fleeting opportunity to watch your formerly little boy do his thing.

Fond memories of youth sports in the 70s and 80s

The photo above is not, it should be noted, one in which I or anyone I know appears. My little league softball/baseball career had just about ended by 1983.

But the one thing I share with the young men in this picture is the experience of having played dozens (maybe hundreds) of games wearing jeans. Not baseball pants, just good old Toughskins from Sears.

And, I should add, we were brilliant.

Or at least we thought we were. I played on some pretty good teams over the years and could hit the ball a fair distance, which is a good thing considering I had such a weak arm for an outfielder.

Here's what I remember about youth sports in the late 70s and early 80s:

• We were always coached by dads, many of whom smoked during practices and games.
• We wore those jeans but did have sweet matching t-shirts and hats.
• If you weren't a good hitter, no one on the other other team had any qualms about yelling out that fact when you came to the plate ("Move in, move in! He can't hit it out of the infield!") I'm not saying this is necessarily good, but it's pretty how much how it was.
• We got ice cream after games, but only if we won.

And I remember having fun. The whole thing really was a lot of fun.

I'm not saying it's radically different now, though I don't see the kids wearing jeans while they're playing. I spent more than a decade coaching and organizing youth soccer, T-ball, and baseball leagues, and the one thing kids of the 2000s shared with us Gen Xers is that they were just out there looking for a good time.

So that was always my philosophy as a dad-coach. Yes, I was going to make you work to get better, and yes, we were going to try to win. But if you're 9 years old and you're not out there having fun, then some adult (in this case me) has failed pretty badly.

You can go on your Old Person Rants about keeping score and participation trophies and all of that, but I'm not too inclined to listen. All I know is it's possible for young athletes to improve while still enjoying themselves. And if you're not doing both, you're not going to get much from the experience.

Of course, I still say sweating your way through a doubleheader in a pair of jeans in 85-degree weather builds character, but maybe that's just me.

Getting back to youth sports coaching and why anyone would do it in the first place

I am, for the first time in more than two years, a youth soccer coach.

"Coach" used to be one of the ways I identified myself. Between 1999 and 2013, I coached a long string of youth t-ball/baseball and soccer teams, and also ran our local soccer club as league president for a couple of seasons.

During that time, my life was a blur of game and practice schedules, post-game snacks, making out lineups, etc. Coaches at the youth level have to coach their actual sports, of course, but they also must play the role of administrator, organizer, psychologist (to kids AND parents) and ball pumper.

Good Lord, I pumped up so many soccer balls in that decade-plus. With tiny little handheld pumps that require 5 minutes of hard exertion in order to blow up one size 4 soccer ball. How is it that we as a society are incapable of designing a soccer ball that will hold air for an entire season? Why do they all go flat? Why?

Anyway, through it all, despite the occasional hassles and inevitable calendar conflicts, I loved coaching kids. Just loved it. You build a special bond with them, and even years later when they're in high school they'll see you, wave and say, "Hi Coach!" Such a cool thing.

Then, in 2013, I had to step aside from the coaching ranks because there just weren't enough hours in the day. My then-new job at Vitamix was demanding in terms of time and travel, and I just couldn't swing regular attendance at practices and games from August through October (and then again in April and May) for another season while still surviving at work.

But now I'm back coaching my son Jack's U10 soccer team. We're well into the season and I'm excited about it. I love coming to the field and helping the kids have fun and become better soccer players. Win or lose, I love the post-game team talks. I love congratulating them on a job well done as much as I love trying to lift their spirits when things don't go so well.

Because that's why coaches do it, of course. Not because they're looking for any sort of recognition or monetary reward. You won't find either of those things at the rec soccer level anyway. It's for the equally selfish reason that it's fun. It's just fun. I get as much out of it (or more) than the kids do.

Like good teachers, good coaches stick with you for a lifetime. You remember them. You remember what they taught you. You remember catchphrases they used. You remember how happy you were when you made them proud, and you remember how crushed you were when you disappointed them.

Which is an awfully big responsibility for any coach to take on, I realize. And I don't want to be presumptuous and assume I'm making some huge difference in these kids' lives.

But even if you just teach them a little bit about responsibility, teamwork and all those gee-whiz concepts we attach to team sports because we want them to have redeeming social value, then you've done OK – both by the kids and by yourself.

And that alone is reason enough to hang a whistle around your neck and volunteer to help out. Assistant coaches are always welcome if you don't want the responsibility of being a head coach, and you don't necessarily have to understand the sport all that well. Just be willing to organize, teach and set a good example, and you're more than halfway there.