Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Does your spouse hide food from you? Mine does.

And let me just say that I understand why she does it. But that doesn't mean I have to like it.

Let's say Terry goes to the grocery store and buys a dozen nectarines. Nectarines go fast in our house. All fruit does, really, but stuff like grapes, cherries, strawberries, blueberries and nectarines go really, really fast.

Those dozen nectarines, if left out on the kitchen counter for general consumption, will be gone in less than 48 hours, guaranteed. Probably less than 24 hours, actually.

If Terry wants to consume at least one or two of them and she would rather they ripen a bit before she does so, she has only one choice: She has to hide a few away where none of us will find them.

This makes me feel like I'm 5 years old and my mother can't trust me to be around the candy, but like I said, I totally get why she does it. It's a survival instinct. She either hides the food or she starves.

If I were in her shoes, I would choose "hide the food," too.

Occasionally I'll discover a Terry Food Stash somewhere, and I'll feel like I've beaten the system or something. I won't eat it. I won't even let her know I found it. I just walk around in the quiet knowledge that I've won.

Granted, I probably only find the hidden food once out of every 100 times or so, but it's a meaningful victory. I am suddenly the one dictating whether or not I eat something, not her.

When you live in the chaos of seven people under one roof, it's the little things that keep you going.

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