Friday, November 13, 2015

It's Friday the 13th! Which means absolutely nothing

So I wrote the following short post about Friday the 13th and horoscopes, and then I went back and read it and thought it sounded patronizing and borderline rude.

Which really makes me the prototypical weenie perfectly suited to the politically correct 21st century, doesn't it? In our painstaking efforts not to offend anyone, we ultimately end up saying nothing. So I'll just let the post stand as is. But I'm wondering at what point I'll reach that "I don't care if this offends you" level of communication as I age. Because I'm really looking forward to that.

Then there's there: I dismiss those who believe in what I see as meaningless pagan superstitions and astrological psychobabble, yet every Sunday morning I go to church to worship an unseen God and remember a guy who said some profound things and was nailed to a tree for it 2,000 years ago. You could argue that I'm simply trading one superstition for another. I think you're wrong, but logically speaking, you could most certainly argue that.

I'll stop babbling. I just thought this one deserved a little context. Here's what I wrote:


I know you're a person with common sense, because you read this blog.

So I know the fact that today is Friday the 13th is meaningless to you. The date and day of the week have absolutely no effect on our individual fortunes, right? You know this, right?

Please tell me you do. And please tell me you don't read your horoscope and take it seriously. Please, please, please. I'll feel so much better about the world if I know you're not planning your life around someone's airy predictions based on your date of birth and the relative position of the sun or moon or stars or Pluto or whatever.

I just...I'd like to think we as a species have made some progress since the 15th century, and we know that stuff like this holds no water in terms of actually forecasting future events or understanding what each day holds in store for us.

Because if you do get nervous on Friday the 13th, I want to hug you in the most non-condescending way possible and say, "I have confidence in you. Really, I do. I know you know that none of this is real. Deep down, you know that to be true, right? Right? You're a bright and talented person. We need your help building a better society here in the fact-based world, so please come and join us."

I'll tell you what: If you do put stock in Friday the 13th and horoscopes and the possibility of the Cleveland Browns ever winning the Super Bowl, all I ask is that you just don't tell me, OK? Let's just pretend together that you don't think that way. I would greatly appreciate it.

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