In my Grandpa Era

With apologies to Ms. Taylor Swift, I'm thoroughly enjoying being nearly 10 months into my Grandpa Era. Here's a quick photo essay documenting a small part of the adventure so far...

This is my favorite shot of my grandson Cal and me. I think it was taken when he was just a couple of weeks old. Now he's almost a year, and of course he looks much different, but I go back and look at this picture a lot.

This was in the hospital right after Cal was born, as you can probably tell from the generic hospital baby blanket. He was relatively big by newborn standards, but he still seemed impossibly small to me. I couldn't get enough of him in those first few weeks. I still can't get enough of him.

When Cal comes to my house or I go to his, I'm often tasked with diaper changes and giving bottles. Of course I never say no. He will outgrow bottles at some point, so I try to savor each feeding. It's a nice time for us to be close. I talk to him while he stares back at me and eats. I think we both enjoy it.

This was us wearing our holiday sweaters on Christmas, the day Cal turned 4 months old. I don't know how often we're doing to dress alike as he gets older, but I do look forward to taking him out for Grandpa-Calvin days. Hockey games will be high on the list when he's ready, but even simple trips to the park are going to be so much fun.

When Cal's mom Chloe was little, she used to love carrying around a little plastic orange hammer. She would take it everywhere. So Terry got Cal one just like it. So far, he sees is mainly as something to teethe on, but to each his own.

From the time he could smile, one thing that has always made Cal happy is when you whistle at him. Or at least it works when I do it. This shot was taken on Easter, and I think I'm whistling to try and amuse him (otherwise I can't explain my face). My guess, though, is that someone off camera is responsible for Cal's big grin, because I'm not sure my whistling was ever that amusing.

Grammy and Grandpa with little Cal. One of the things I've enjoyed about being a new grandparent is sharing the experience with Terry. We talk about Cal all the time, and we marvel as he reaches new milestones and learns new skills. I knew we would love him, and I knew we would enjoy being grandparents. I just didn't know we would love it all so much. It's wonderful.

A Q&A interview with my 7-month-old grandson Cal

NOTE: It's not often we here at 5 Kids, 1 Wife, 1 Grandchild score anything you might call an "exclusive," but we've definitely hit a home run today. We're proud to present the first published interview with Calvin Edmonds, world-renowned formula expert, diaper connoisseur, and – in what I do not consider to be any sort of journalistic conflict – our grandchild. Calvin recently sat down with us to share his views on life as an infant and how easy it is to manipulate your parents and grandparents.

5 Kids, 1 Wife, 1 Grandchild (5K1W1G): Calvin, this is so exciting! Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule of rolling, crying, pooping and attending the occasional library story time to talk with us.

Calvin: It's all good, Grandpa, my pleasure.

5K1W1G: So...you've been around for 7 months now. How is it going for you? Has life been everything you expected?

Calvin: Honestly, I didn't have any expectations at all. One minute I'm in a warm, dark, cramped place, the next I'm in a hospital NICU hooked up to all sorts of machines. I had no idea there was anything outside the womb. Let's just say I'm still adjusting.

5K1W1G: Your parents, Chloe and Michael. They meet your every need and respond to your every whim. You have to be happy with their performance so far.

Calvin: Oh absolutely, they're amazing. I didn't realize I would be given my own personal servants, but now I can't imagine life without them.

5K1W1G: Any constructive feedback for them?

Calvin: I don't want to sound ungrateful, since those two are rookies at this just like I am. But I will say that sometimes when I cry, they take upwards of 15 seconds to figure out what I want and give it to me. Seven months into this gig, I don't think we need those sorts of delays.

5K1W1G: What about your Grammy Terry and me? How are we doing?

Calvin: All due respect? You guys are suckers. I thought I could make Mom and Dad do whatever I wanted, but you guys...it's like mind control. You're hilariously easy. Whatever I want, whenever I want it, you give it to me.

5K1W1G: We view it as our mission in life. Any areas of improvement for us?

Calvin: I enjoy coming to see you, but you can't drive down to my house more often? Akron too far for you to spend time with your one and only grandchild?

5K1W1G: Well, I mean, Grammy comes to your place quite often. It's just that I have to work five days a week to keep her in the lifestyle to which she has become accustomed.

Calvin: Sounds like an excuse. Let's work on that.

5K1W1G: We will, I promise. I see your mom already has you in swimming lessons and music classes. How engaged are you with these activities?

Calvin: More than you think, though my job is usually just to look around and occasionally smile to let her know I'm enjoying myself.

5K1W1G: Speaking of your mom, she plans to become a doctor. How do you feel about that?

Calvin: My experience with doctors is that they talk to you like they're your best friend then turn around and give you shots. I don't trust 'em. At some point during med school, I predict Mom is going to see through this charade and rethink her life choices.

5K1W1G: And your dad, Michael. What does he do for work?

Calvin: It has something to do with trucks. And buildings, I think. I'm not entirely sure. I mean, I'm 7 months old.

5K1W1G: With a surprisingly advanced vocabulary. Hey, I can't help but notice you have a couple of teeth now. Are you putting those to use?

Calvin: If by "putting those to use" you mean biting my mom from time to time, then yes. Food-wise, they've been giving me cereal and other mushy stuff, but nothing that really requires you to have a good set of incisors, you know? I assume the steak and hard candy will come later.

5K1W1G: What about hobbies? Any personal interests you've picked up?

Calvin: My dad and I are gamers. Well, I mean, he does the actual "gaming," but I'm usually strapped to him in the carrier while he does it. I've seen enough to know that if you put a PlayStation controller in my hands, I could dominate at FIFA.

5K1W1G: At this point in the interview, we should probably address the elephant in the room – your looks. You're a strikingly handsome fellow. Gerber Baby cute. How has that affected you?

Calvin: <sighs> Look, I appreciate the compliments, but do you know how hard it is to look this good? People treat you differently. They stare at you. They don't care about your thoughts or ideas. Like the other day, I had just finished reading "The Communist Manifesto" for the third time, and I wanted to share with Mom my criticisms of the book and where Marx went wrong. But she wasn't having any of it. Over and over, all she did was get in my face and ask, "Who's a cute boy? WHO'S A CUTE BOY?!?" Me, the answer is me. I know that, she knows that. Can we move on? I'm telling you, it's exhausting being one of the Beautiful People. You uglies have it so much easier...

5K1W1G: Wait, what?

Calvin: Nothing.

5K1W1G: Well, I think it's just about nap time for you, so one last question. If you could be a tree, what kind of tree would you be?

Calvin: Oh, Grandpa, that's so cliche. You're better than that. Why don't you just launch into your "I was on two game shows" story for the thousandth time?

5K1W1G: That hurts.

Calvin: Sorry. I love you, Grandpa.

5K1W1G: I love you, too, buddy.

OK, let's get back to Calvin...

When my grandson Calvin was born last August, I changed the name of this blog to "5 Kids, 1 Wife, 1 Grandchild." As you might expect, the young man has gotten more than his share of exposure here over the ensuing half a year, and rightly so.

But I never wanted the blog to become "all Cal all the time," so you will note that it has been six weeks since I last posted about him.

Time for the little guy to return.

This Wednesday, Cal turns 6 months old. He rolls over like a champ, has a couple of teeth that have broken through, and delights Terry and me by Facetiming us on days when neither of us is able to see him in person.

He also sometimes wakes up a little too early for his mom Chloe's liking, and he is a master grump when tired or simply not getting his way.

Right now, Cal, his mom, and his dad Michael live about 45 minutes away from us in Akron. Where they'll be living this time next year is entirely dependent on where Chloe attends medical school.

She has already been accepted to one institution that would require her to move 2+ hours south of us. That's not ideal, but it's also not a dealbreaker. We could manage it and still see Cal and his parents regularly.

Meanwhile, Chloe is waiting to hear final decisions from two other med schools nearer to home. Acceptance to either could mean they would stay in Akron or move even closer to us.

Let the record show we would certainly not object to that.

I want what's best for Chloe and her family, honestly, but I also want the little guy with whom Terry and I are obsessed to be more accessible.

Either way, fingers crossed.

You can understand our dilemma.

You're my little potato

Me reading a book to Cal at his house recently. He seemed to appreciate the effort, but his expression told me, "I think Mom and Dad do this better than you, Grandpa."

My four-month-old grandson Cal is comforted by the funniest things.

Like running water. I find if he's tired and cranky but not yet ready to go down for a nap, I can take him the bathroom and turn on the faucet.

That sound calms him down, as does looking at his own reflection in the bathroom mirror. Taken together, the water and seeing his own face always stop his tears, if not make him downright happy.

There are also certain songs that soothe him. Actually, I'm not sure whether it's the songs themselves or the fact that his mom, my daughter Chloe, is singing them.

Chloe has always had a nice voice, and Calvin responds much better when she sings "The Eensy Weensy Calvin" (a slight adaptation of "The Eensy Weensy Spider") to him than when I do.

There is, however, one song that makes him happy no matter who sings it. And the recorded version seems to work best of all.

That tune is "My Little Potato" by the group Metamora. (The link takes you to YouTube. If you're interested in just the lyrics, here they are.)

It's a playful, silly little song, but also a heartfelt tribute to newborns everywhere and the people who love them.

You’re my little potato, they dug you up, you come from underground. The world is big, so big, it’s very big. To you it’s new, it’s new to you. 

And later...

You’re my sweet potato, they dug you up, you come from underground. You smile a smile, a little smile. The world is small, so small, it’s very small. 

Chloe discovered it from a friend who is also a relatively new mom, and over the last few months, it has been in heavy rotation in her car and on my Apple Music playlists.

It is, in effect, my Cal anthem. I've played it for him on my phone and have softly sung it to him while trying to get him to sleep.

It reminds me of everything I felt as a new dad back in The Day and everything I'm feeling and learning as a new grandpa.

He won't remember it as he gets older and baby songs give way to toddler songs and little kid songs and eventually popular songs of the type he will love and his grandfather will patiently endure.

No matter, though. As long as he knows he'll always be Grandpa's little potato, that's good enough.

In 3 1/2 months as a grandparent, I have learned I can still change diapers and calm a crying infant

My grandson Cal is doing great. He is great. I keep saying this, but I had no idea how attached I would get to him so quickly. It's a highlight of my week when I know I'm going to see him.

Before Cal was born, I wasn't sure how fast my baby parenting skills would return, or if they would return at all. But it would seem I had nothing to worry about.

For one thing, changing a diaper is like riding a bike. You do it a few thousand times as I did back in the 90s and early 2000s and it becomes awfully hard to forget.

You remember, for instance, how to open a fresh diaper with one hand and position it underneath the child while using the other hand to lift their butt by pulling their feet up. You quickly recall wipey techniques for fast and efficient clean-up.

And in the case of boys, you remember to cover them up so as not to get doused by an unexpected arc of pee.

All of that was fine. But it turns out I'm also still pretty good at getting babies to sleep.

I have, I think, a natural rhythm and bounce that allows me to calm little ones down when I'm holding them. I always had a knack for getting my own kids to sleep years ago, and it appears to have transferred to Cal.

Well, it's either that or else I'm just insanely boring and the kid can't help but drift off in my presence. Either way, I am the Baby Whisperer.

It is such a joy when Cal comes over and I go to take him out of his car seat. He looks at me for a second and then gives one of those big baby smiles that says, "It's you! I know you! Mom, it's that guy! Grandpa! I love him!"

To say my heart melts in those moments is something more than an understatement. That's when I can't wait for him to grow up so I can start spoiling the little guy properly.

Spoiling, in addition to diaper changing and getting cranky babies to sleep, is right near the top of the grandpa job description.

A boy named Cal

 

One very cheap way to attract "likes," comments and all the other forms of social media validation on which bloggers thrive is to post photos like this one of my grandson Cal.

I am not above doing this.

Cal is 2 months old and I can't get enough of him. We make the drive down to his house in Akron whenever we have the chance, and we love when he's able to spend time here at Grammy and Grandpa's house.

Before Cal was born, I had lots of veteran grandparents tell me things like, "Just you wait. You're going to love that little guy in a way you can't even imagine. He's going to change your world."

And I would say to myself, "OK, yes, of course I'm going to love him."

But I didn't really understand how and how much I would love him. It's a dazzling new experience.

I've not been doing this grandparent thing very long, but from what I can tell so far, the love you have for a grandchild is very much like the love you have for your kids, but...somehow different. Not better or worse, just different. It's deep and profound in ways I couldn't have expected.

Some of that probably has to do with emotional family connections you make with your own mom and dad, and by extension your mother-in-law and father-in-law. I wish so much that Cal could have met any of his great-grandparents on our side, but it wasn't in the cards.

So I guess Terry and I have to love him even more to make up for their absence. Challenge accepted.

The running joke when it comes to grandparenthood is that you get all the benefits of being a parent and can simply hand them back at the end of the day.

Which I guess is true, but the reality is we never want to hand him back. We don't mind changing diapers, feeding him, or walking with him if he's fussy.

None of that feels like an imposition or a burden. It feels more like a privilege.

I know what Chloe and Michael, Cal's mom and dad, are going through right now. Having a baby takes a lot of time and energy, especially when you're juggling it with full-time work (in Michael's case) or navigating the application and interview process for medical school (in Chloe's case).

People will tell you that, despite the chaos, you're going to miss these days. And much like my semi-dismissal of friends and relatives who tried to describe to me the experience of being a grandparent, it's difficult to really grasp and appreciate what they're talking about in the moment.

But over time you learn. Just as I'm learning what an incredible blessing it is to be this little boy's grandpa. I can't even tell you how lucky we are.

My wife has been in her element for the last 7 weeks

One of the most interesting and fun things since our grandson came along has been the way in which Terry has taken to being a grandmother.

Some people are just born for certain roles, and there is no doubt my wife was meant to be – among many other things – a grandma.

She has spent much of the last two months preparing food for new parents Chloe and Michael, making the 45-minute trip to and from their home in Akron, buying little Cal outfits she finds in thrift stores, and generally taking to this new stage of life like the proverbial duck to water.

I remember her doing the same thing in 1994 when Elissa was born. The Terry I knew changed forever the minute she became a mother. Her kindness and heart were still there (and remain her defining features), but she transformed in ways that were necessary to take on the demands of raising children.

The change is more subtle into grandparenthood, but it is still evident, and it has been such a joy to watch.

Terry reminds me of my own mom and the sort of loving, open grandmother she was.

My wife has, on more than one occasion, cited Mom as her grandma role model, and in her I see the same willingness and eagerness to babysit as much as possible, the same tendency to pass along parental wisdom without being overbearing or smothering, and the same drive to support her own daughter's transition into motherhood.

You hear people rave about being grandparents all the time, but until you actually experience it, you can't fully grasp what they're talking about.

Terry was born for this, and as time goes by and he grows up, I think Cal will quickly come to realize what a blessing he has in Grammy Tennant.

As for me as Grandpa, the only two things I've noticed so far are:

(1) That same intense desire to see my grandson whenever I can. Just can't get enough of him.

(2) The fact that I've turned into a blubbering mess.

I am strangely hormonal when I see or think about Cal. Chloe sends a new picture of him to the family text chat and I tear up. I stare at his little face when I hold him, thinking how much I wish our parents could have known him, and I tear up.

I see a TV commercial for laundry detergent in which a mom hugs her child and I tear up.

I hope this part of the grandpa thing passes soon, or otherwise I'm going to have to start injecting myself daily with shots of high-grade testosterone.