The spousal good night kiss

Every night just after we turn out the lights, I kiss my wife. We have, as far as I can remember, always done this.

It's a nice thing to do, but there are at least three obstacles that make it more difficult than it should be:

(1) Because it's dark, I can't see exactly where Terry is. So more often than not, as I'm trying to get my bearings, my groping hand slides along her face in a way that must be less than comfortable for her.

(2) It's not like I have to travel half a mile to get to her, but we have a king-size bed, so there is some effort required to move over to her side. And, you know, I'm pretty tired by that point in the day.

(3) In those times when we execute the good night kiss with the lights still on, she makes this puckering face that causes me to burst out laughing every time. She does it because she knows I think it's funny, but it does tend to suck out whatever minute element of romance may have been in the air when two extremely tired people in their early 50s are getting ready to settle down for the night.

Still, we manage to pull it off every night. Assuming I don't injure her (or myself from laughing at The Pucker), we intend to keep the streak going.

Six things I don't get the popularity of

(1) Professional wrestling: Look, I know this is probably just me because a lot of smart people love wrestling and have fond memories of watching it when they were kids. I just...I don't get it. I try and try to find some entertainment value in it and I come up blank. But then again, there are a lot of things I personally like that others don't get, either, so I guess it's all good.

(2) KISS: The band, not the physical act (I like that). Again, I know they're talented. I know people just love their music. I'm pretty sure there's something I'm just not understanding about their appeal that, if it would just click for me, I would become a fan.

(3) Gardening: Lots of people love gardening. They love growing food and flowers. They love being outside on their hands and knees and digging into the soil. Good for them. I in no way share their passion, though maybe I will in a few years when I become an official Old Person. After all, I never thought I would like coffee and wine, and I love both now. We'll see.

(4) Almost any given binge-watched TV series: You know the ones I'm talking about – Breaking Bad, The Wire, Walking Dead, Boardwalk Empire, Sons of Anarchy, etc. The only one I've ever gotten into (and I'm not quite sure how it happened) was House of Cards. I like House of Cards. Then again, I would probably like those other shows, too, if I had the time to watch any of them. But I don't.

(5) Tattoos: Understand something, militant tattoo people: I don't care if you have a tattoo. I don't judge you because you have a tattoo. If you're a good person, you're a good person whether or not you choose to get some ink. I don't have any problem at all with tattoos or the people who have them. It's just that I personally don't want one, and I can't identify with the desire to have one. That's all. Nothing more than that. You people get really sensitive when you think others are criticizing you.

(6) Camping: I really, really WANT to like camping. And I hate to say it, but I think I would like camping if I were doing it myself. This isn't anything against my family or anyone else with whom I'm likely to find myself sleeping in a tent. It's just that I think I would enjoy the experience much more if there was no one else, you know, there with me. Which is why the idea of a multi-person two-week camping trip to Yellowstone does nothing for me, but the idea of walking the entire Appalachian Trail and sleeping outside every night seems awesome. But as always, that's just me.