I don't wrap presents well, but I wrap them

 

The AI Blog Post Image Generator gave me this photo. It distorted the guy's face, and I think he has six fingers on his right hand and only four on his left, but it...does the job. Merry Christmas, AI Blog Post Image Generator.

One Christmas many years ago, sometime early in our marriage, Terry noticed that all of the presents I had given her were exceptionally well wrapped.

As if an older woman had wrapped them.

This was because an older woman had, in fact, wrapped them.

I don't know if this is still a thing, but back in the day at Great Lakes Mall, you could have any gift wrapped for just a few dollars. There was an area in the middle of the mall where a group of expert wrappers stayed busy making everyone's packages look exceptionally festive.

I was quick to take advantage of this opportunity, given how much I disliked wrapping and the fact that my wrapping skills had always been somewhat lacking. I unhesitatingly forked over the cash to get all of Terry's stuff wrapped.

I was proud of how nice her presents looked, but I could quickly see that I had messed up. She wasn't mad or anything, but it was clear that she preferred for me to make the effort to wrap her gifts, rather than paying an expert to do it.

I got it then and I get it now, so I have been personally wrapping her stuff every Christmas since.

It took me a few years to get the hang of it. One time I used a piece of stinky old rope I found in the garage to bind one present. I have no idea what I was thinking.

But eventually I fell into a rhythm and can now wrap presents with something approaching proficiency.

The lesson I learned then as a young somewhat-newlywed (and should have already known) is that it's not so much what you give your loved one but the thought and effort that go into selecting and presenting it.

And now, 32 years into our marriage, I offer this guidance to any young man who is looking to make his girlfriend, wife, mom, sister, etc. happy on Christmas (or any other gift-giving occasion).

In most cases, she would much rather receive the box you wrapped yourself with the loose, uneven edges and the funny-shaped corners than anything wrapped by Marge at the mall with the curled ribbon and festive bow you never would have selected on your own in a million years.

Trust me on this one.

My daughter is a master gift giver and this little painting proves it

 

I'm a month and a half late with this post, but with all the gift giving happening five days from now, it's probably still relevant.

Back in October, I posted here about the list of "50 Things Every Guy Should Own" as compiled by the staff at CoolMaterial.com. I made note of the fact that I personally owned maybe half the items on the list.

My birthday occurred a week after that post, and it inspired my daughter Elissa and her boyfriend Mark to give me a few items off the list.

Elissa is, without a doubt, the most thoughtful gift giver I know. When you get something from her, whether it's for your birthday or Christmas, you can be sure it's going to be personal and relevant.

In fact, thanks to their mother, all of my kids are really good with gifts. From her they learned to put thought and effort into a present, and it shows on every family holiday.

Elissa is likely the best at it among all of us, and that's saying something. When I opened the three small packages from her and Mark, they were:

• The painting you see above, which Elissa created herself. It's my view from the press box when I serve as the public address announcer for events held at Wickliffe Memorial Stadium. It checks off the list entry "a piece of art that means something to you."
  
  
• A beautiful Scriveiner pen, fulfilling CoolMaterial.com's directive to own "a good pen."
  
  
• A pair of saxophone cufflinks, since I play the sax and the list calls for guys to own a pair of cufflinks. I ordered a French cuff shirt that week just for the chance to show them off.
  
  

One key to successful gift giving, I find, is being observant. Elissa saw that blog post and reacted to it.

I am not a particularly observant person. I don't always pay attention to my surroundings, so I miss even less-than-subtle hints and clues about what a person might want or need. 

Thus, I am probably the worst gift giver in our family. It's my little cross to bear, and I work every year to overcome it.

For what it's worth, though, I'm an outstanding gift receiver. I am excited about anything you want to give me and will make you feel proud of your choice in presents.

And I think that's worth something.

Guess I'd better start my Christmas shopping soon...

I'm not normally a procrastinator, but I rarely start shopping for Christmas presents much before, oh, round about now, I guess.

Yeah, two weeks before the holiday is usually about right for me. Sometimes sooner, sometimes later. But two weeks is pretty much my norm.

I fall right into Guy Stereotype #47 in that I do not especially enjoy shopping. I come up with a list of specific items before I leave the house, and then I go looking for those specific items. Once I find them, I go home. I generally do not buy anything else. As soon as everything on my list is checked off, I stop.

Then, at some point soon after, I wrap those same gifts. And I finish the whole thing as soon as possible in the same way I try and finish scooping out the cat litter boxes every morning. It's just another to-do that needs to be completed.

I actually don't mind crowds and traffic this time of year. To me they come with the territory, and a store full of people has a Christmas-like quality to it (Which is sad, isn't it? Because that suggests that buying stuff is the No. 1 thing I associate with Christmas. My bad.)

What I don't like is not finding the things on my list. So that's why I plan so extensively before I venture out to shop. I want to walk in, find what I need, buy it, and walk out.

Sometime this works, sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't work, I admittedly get a little frustrated.

So here's a holiday tip: If you're someone to whom I give a Christmas present, please check with me first for my List of Approved Stores at which I'm willing to shop. Also be prepared to tell me exactly where inside those stores I can find your desired item.

That's what Terry does and it works great for both of us.

Merry Christmas!