My daughter Elissa is a senior in high school. That means we have been in full-bore College Search Mode for the past several months. This being the first time I've gone through it, I've learned three things from the experience:
(1) It doesn't take long to get past the "sticker shock" of college, so nothing phases me anymore when I see how much it costs. I haven't yet written a single check, but I'm already jaded by the insane numbers. That's not good.
(2) All college tours are the same. Seriously. They're all given by a female junior or senior student who will tell you that choosing to attend this particular university "was the best decision of my life" (You're 20 years old. How many great decisions could you have made by now?) You will see the same things on every tour: the library, the newly refurbished rec center (ALL rec centers are newly refurbished), a freshman dorm room, the science building, the cool statue at the center of campus, the quad, etc.
(3) As near as I can tell, all college students appear to be 15 years older than my daughter, but 50 years younger than me.
Being Daddy Breadwinner, it is point #1 that concerns me most. You've no doubt heard that college is a wee bit expensive nowadays. Maybe you have a college student or two in your family now. If so, you know that the easiest thing to do is simply to give the college or university that your child selects large piles of money on a regular basis and hope they're satisfied. No need to count it, just cart wheelbarrows of cash over to the financial office and give it to the first university employee you see.
That's my strategy, at least. The thing is, Elissa is smart. She's going to get scholarships. And being a single-income family, I know we're probably in line for some need-based aid, as well. But it won't be enough. It's NEVER enough, even at state schools.
The college financial aid people have come up with something called the Expected Family Contribution. This, as you might imagine, is the amount they think you can reasonably be expected to contribute to your child's education. It is derived using a complex formula that takes into account several relevant factors, yet still manages to yield a number at which you will laugh.
Really. You'll see your Expected Family Contribution and you'll literally LOL. Then you'll say to the grim-faced financial aid person, "No, seriously, what's my number?" They will repeat the same figure. You will again laugh. Then you will realize they are serious, and you will cry. This is how the game is played. Generations of parents have done it before you, and generations will do it after. Your job is just to roll with it.
Of course, Elissa will have to take on some hefty student loans and will also be involved in a work-study program, no doubt. But two of the schools to which she has applied -- the University of Dayton and the College of Wooster -- charge in excess of $40,000 a year for undergrads. Even one of her state schools (Miami of Ohio) is in the $20K range. And this is in no way considered excessive.
The private schools, I'm told, generally have a lot of financial aid they're willing to give out, which is good. But unless they're willing to cover somewhere around 99.5% of Elissa's college costs, there's going to have to be some belt-tightening around our house.
I realize there are lower-cost options, such as community college and some value-oriented four-year schools. And we may end up going that route. But the College Propaganda Industry is very good at making you believe that, should your child choose one of these discount schools, they will never get a good job and will live under a bridge for the rest of their lives. I'm just stupid enough to believe this.
And the thing is, I've got five kids to get through college. It's not like we can make some sacrifices for a few years and then be done with it once Elissa graduates. Jack is on target to get his undergrad degree in 2028 (twenty twenty-eight, as most of you would apparently call it). If there's one thing I learned at John Carroll University, it's how to subtract. And according to my calculations, we have 16 solid years of this to go through.
That makes my head hurt. It makes my soul hurt. But I figure if I manage to hold down three jobs and a paper route, it should all be OK.
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Scott, My daughter is in her 3rd year at Mount Union. I read this and Laughed because it is 100% so true! So after laughing, I am now sitting here looking at the calendar and realized OMG it's time to fill out the yearly FAFSA form to get that inhumane Expected Family Contribution number! I'm not laughing anymore....I have that sick feeling in my stomach and tears in my eyes! AND thinking, dang it! next year I'll have another kid graduating and another starting High School! OMG! I am gonna have to work until I am 80! Oxygen! Oxygen!
ReplyDeleteOh man, Dave, I'm sorry I've taken an already-painful experience and made it worse for you. ;) Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping the 529 plan for Caius won't be robbed by the gov't by the time he needs it. Or else it's digging ditches or the military (which also involves digging ditches). If all else fails, there's the Border Patrol.
ReplyDeleteKev: If nothing else, you can feel proud that all the money you stuff into that 529 plan will eventually go toward arming some Central American junta group. Caius may not be able to afford college, but at least the CIA will feel better about the political situation in El Grinkador or some other jungle backwater.
ReplyDeleteThere have been times when I have wished for siblings for my dear only child. There have also been times that I have been grateful my wishes were not granted. Now is one of those times!
ReplyDeleteIf it helps I have a niece at college of wooster who comes from a single earner family and has three siblings. She received an excellent financial aid package from them. She has the smarts and did receive academic scholarships as well. Its a little ray of hope at least.
ReplyDeleteCarrie: It DOES help, thank you! A little ray of hope...
ReplyDeleteSomething else that might help, if you have 529 plans for the kids put them in a grandparents name so that money is not considered part of your contribution. You can still contribute to the plan but it won't count against potential financial aid.
ReplyDeleteScott,
ReplyDeleteNo worries. These people know exactly what you can afford and still have macaroni AND CHEESE. Monday you have the Macaroni, Tuesday you eat the cheese.
We got through 12 school years (Just tell them that there is a reason they are 4 year schools and not 5) and our youngest, who graduated from Tiffin University in May, Decided his offers weren't good enough and is now in Grad School (His dime, not ours so I can't complain).
Honestly though, you get through, you'll be surprised. They do a nice job of figuring out YOUR financial future for the next 20 years. We were blessed that we had some extra income and our children got some pretty good scholorships. I would suggest however, Skidmore College in Saratoga Springs New York. (Bacashihua plays for the Adirondak Phantoms and it's 10 miles north at Glens Falls) Seriously though, if her grades are great and her SATs are above average, they have an award for Ohio Students called the KETTERING AWARD. CHECK INTO IT. Dayton Great School(Our daughter graduated from their sister school LaSalle in Philly) CHECK INTO SKIDMORE and if she's lucky enough to get in, you can start saving for the next one.