Thursday, May 9, 2013

Five useless things currently in my wallet

(1) Disney-themed credit card with a picture of Tinkerbell on the front: I'm too embarrassed to show this card to any merchant, so I don't. I mean, I don't claim to be Chuck Norris or anything, but I like to salvage a little bit of my manly dignity. For the record, my wife ordered these cards for us. As far as you know.

(2) Vision insurance card: Never mind that it isn't even valid anymore. I see the eye doctor once every 47 years. And I'm not due to go again until 2035. This can be safely thrown out, and I would do just that if I didn't save every single semi-official document and/or card someone issues me. I have Romper Room Fan Club membership cards from the 70s. You think I'm kidding.

(3) Gold Starbucks card: When I go to Starbucks (which is often), I try to appear hip and cool by paying with my smartphone app, rather than the old-fashioned plastic gold card. No one is impressed except me, yet I continue using this app even when the card would probably be easier.

(4) Professional association membership card: I belong to a few clubs and associations specific to my line of work. Each of these organizations issues a membership card, and I never look at it again until it's time to throw it away. There's no use for it at all, other than to make you feel like a valued, dues-paying member. Which you should feel like anyway when you beg your employer to write the check to cover those dues. Staggeringly useless.

(5) $6 in cash: I almost never use cash. That $6 will sit in my wallet for weeks unless a child asks for money to pay some miscellaneous (and possibly fabricated) school fee, or if we go to Jerry's Dari Pride. Jerry's is a landmark ice cream store here in my hometown, and they only take cash. You want Jerry's ice cream, you bring cash. Simple as that. That $6 most likely represents an ice cream cone at some indeterminate point in my future. Unless you want it, in which case let me know and I'll drop it in the mail (the money, not the ice cream cone).

1 comment:

  1. I have a Disney card too and use it all the time. The real problem with mine is instead of "Mr" there was a mistake way back when and it says "Dr. Richard...". I have been asked a few times if I really am a doctor. I am always quick to say no for fear that their next words will be "good, that guy over there needs help".