Wednesday, June 19, 2013

The glory and comfort of the king-sized bed

When we moved into our house 10 years ago, my wife and I bought a king-sized bed.

Along with our gigantic sectional couch, our Keurig coffee maker, and our flat-screen TV, this was easily among our top purchases of all time.

If you own a king-sized bed, or even if you've simply slept in one before, you know what I'm talking about here.

When we were first married, Terry and I slept in a queen bed. And it seemed to be just fine for our needs.

But then you try a king-size and your total personal sleeping acreage rises dramatically and exponentially, and that's it, man. You simply cannot go back.

Even a decade into owning this behemoth, I sometimes crawl into bed at night and marvel at how much space I have. Terry has her side and I have mine, and we're both 100% fine with this set-up.

At any given time of the night, unless one of us has rolled toward the middle of the bed in our sleep, there are 2 to 3 solid feet of empty, stretched-out comfort between us.

Nowadays when we travel somewhere and are forced back into a queen, it's like sleeping in a matchbox.

NOTE TO THOSE WHO DID NOT GROW UP AT A TIME WHEN 145% OF THE AMERICAN POPULATION SMOKED AND THEREFORE MATCHES WERE EVERYWHERE: A matchbox is a small container in which matches are kept. The only thing you need to understand here is that a matchbox is, generally speaking, a tiny space.

But really, having to revert to a queen is torture for us.

It's not that we dislike being near each other or anything. It's just that we're eminently spoiled by our big boy bed, and anything else seems cramped and uncomfortable.

Plus, we have four cats in our house. On any given night, two or three or them will climb up into bed with us. This isn't so bad in January when the extra heat is welcomed. But in July, for example, you would rather not have their fuzzy, furnace-like bodies snuggled right up against you. The king bed gives them room to stake out their own few square feet of space.

If there's a downside to the king, it's when Terry washes the sheets and the whole thing has to be made again from scratch.

King-sized sheets are huge and unwieldy. They're tough to position and tuck in so that everything is just right.

Or at least they are for me. Terry prefers it when I help her make the bed, but she can get along just fine without me.

I, on the other hand, never know exactly which way the sheets should be positioned. Does the tag go down at the bottom? And if so, on which side? I can never figure it out.

If it were left to me, I would just throw a comforter onto the bare mattress and sleep on top of that.

Fortunately, Terry has enough brain power to figure it all out for me. Must be all of that uber-comfortable sleep she gets every night.

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