Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Four bathrooms in our house and it's still not enough

Technically we have 3½ bathrooms, since the one off the kitchen is a half-bath. But the fact is, there are four toilets in this house, yet someone is always complaining.

Why? Well, for one thing, there are seven of us living here (six during the school year when Elissa is at college, but still...) No matter how you look at it, that's still more people than privies.

But there's also this: Many of us have favorite bathrooms depending on what we plan to do in them. Some, for example, will shower in the master bathroom, but they refuse to do so in the upstairs bathroom. Others will perform a certain bodily function only on a designated toilet and no other.

And no one except me seems willing to use the basement bathroom for anything. It's a full bathroom down there, and it works just fine if you ignore the shockingly low capacity of the toilet (let's just say you don't want to eat a large Mexican meal and then have to use our basement bathroom).

But really, it's a good bathroom. The problem is that when we first moved in 11 years ago, and admittedly for some time thereafter, no one used that bathroom and it got a little ratty after awhile. Like, spiders were in there along with who-knows-what-other-sorts of wildlife.

But now it gets regular use and I can assure you there are no bugs of any kind. I just recently washed the floor, shower, toilet and sink, rendering it perfectly acceptable for use by almost anyone except maybe the Queen of England. And depending on her personal preferences, even Elizabeth may be OK with it.

Still, the image of The Nasty Basement Bathroom persists, and as I said, no one takes advantage of its presence except me. Which is fine, but no matter what my kids say, it's a viable solution to the occasional bathroom conflicts that erupt in our house. (I will also admit it's pretty cold down there, but you learn to deal with it.)

My theory is that it's impossible for anyone to have enough bathrooms. I don't care how big your family is, I don't care how big your house is. You will adjust your hygiene habits to the point that even if you have 17 bathrooms, you'll still want the variety and comfort of that 18th bathroom you lack.

Of course, when I was a toddler, I lived in a house with six people and only one bathroom. But people were changing my diaper every day, so I really didn't care. But if the Tennants of the early 1970s could hack it, I'm sure the Tennants of the mid-2010s can soldier on somehow, too.

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