Wednesday, January 28, 2015

What Daddy's Little Girl wants, Daddy's Little Girl gets

One of the long-accepted tenets of parenting is that fathers will do virtually anything their daughters ask them to do.

This is absolutely true.

Every daughter is, in one way or another, Daddy's Little Girl. Or at least that's how Daddy sees it. So usually when they want something, and especially when they use that deadly "Oh Daddy You're So Wonderful and I Love You" voice, we cave in.

We can't help it, it's how we're wired.

At least two of my daughters understand this dynamic, and I think the third is catching onto it.

The other day, one of my daughters whom I will only identify as "Chloe" asked me to go outside to her (locked) car and retrieve her baritone horn and her music for her so she could practice. It was cold and snowy, and it was clear that "Chloe" was perfectly capable of putting on her shoes and doing this herself.

"But," she said, "it's so cold outside and you're so big and strong, Daddy, and I just..." OK FINE I'LL DO IT JUST STOP LAYING ON THE DAUGHTER GUILT.

The right parenting move here, of course, would have been to make her do it herself, since the world doesn't cater to our whims and Daddy won't be around to do every little thing for you.

But I was in no way capable of resisting her pleas. It's like girls emanate Waves of Persuasion and we just bend to their will. Even when we know we shouldn't.

So I put on my shoes, traipsed outside in single-digit temperatures, unlocked her car, grabbed the large brass instrument and sheet music and brought it all back in for "Chloe," who thanked me and headed upstairs to practice.

As a rule, moms are not subject to the reverse effect with their sons. No matter the gender of the child asking, they're able to say "no" to any and all unreasonable requests. This is why kids, being essentially evil, know it's best to go to Dad when they really want something and expect resistance from Mom.

We don't raise them to be evil, of course, but it's in their nature. And some of us never grow out of it.

What it comes down to is that fathers, no matter how much they see themselves as stern disciplinarians, generally regard their daughters as precious little flowers. This leads to many things, including the bizarre popularity of daddy-daughter songs as sung by male country music artists (that link will take you to a post on this topic I wrote a couple of years ago).

It also leads to dads blubbering on the dance floor at their little girls' weddings when it's time for the Father-Daughter Dance.

If these young women were even smarter and more evil than they already are, they would ask their daddies for $10,000 right in the middle of this dance. They would be rich in no time.


  1. "The other day, one of my daughters whom I will only identify as "Chloe"

    This line just killed me. Well done.

  2. I'm 18 month old already has me wrapped around her finger and she doesn't have the vocabulary to even ask yet.