Friday, May 15, 2015

What I miss and what I don't miss about having babies in the house

WHAT I MISS: The free food and drink they stock in a refrigerator at the hospital especially for dads. That was awesome.

WHAT I DON'T MISS: Gallons and gallons of breast milk (frozen and otherwise) in our own refrigerator at home.

WHAT I MISS: Laying down with a baby fast asleep on my shoulder.

WHAT I DON'T MISS: Laying down and wanting desperately to sleep with a baby on my shoulder that won't stop crying.

WHAT I MISS: Pooh Bear videos.

WHAT I DON'T MISS: Barney videos. (And let me just say that I was never really anti-Barney. But a person can only take so much...)

WHAT I MISS: The Diaper Genie. What an ingenious invention.

WHAT I DON'T MISS: The Diaper Genie when it was full and needed emptying. The smell inside of that thing was...debilitating. I think that's the word for it. One whiff and you were unable to do much of anything (including maintaining consciousness) for five full minutes.

WHAT I MISS: Freshly bathed babies.

WHAT I DON'T MISS: Actually bathing the babies.

WHAT I MISS: The excitement of pregnancy and the impending arrival of a new addition to the family, made even more exciting by the fact that I wasn't the one who had to carry the little demon around in my abdomen for 9+ months.

WHAT I DON'T MISS: Actually getting home with the baby and remembering that newborns are an insane amount of work.

WHAT I MISS: Setting up the playpen, knowing it was going to give you some hands-free time.

WHAT I DON'T MISS: Taking down the playpen, knowing that I would either have to lug it somewhere when we left the house or set it up again 15 minutes later because we were already tired of holding the baby again.

WHAT I MISS: First smiles, first laughs, first words, first steps.

WHAT I DON'T MISS: First projectile vomiting, first teething, first non-breast milk poo, first tantrum.

WHAT I MISS: Watching my wife turn into a superhero of organization and energy as she cared for first one, then two, then three, then four, then five kids while I went off to work every day and basically abandoned her.

WHAT I DON'T MISS: Watching my wife dissolve into a puddle of tears and exhaustion when she was pretty sure she couldn't do it anymore (NOTE: She always got through it anyway because, as mentioned above, she's a superhero.)

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