As I sat thinking about the fact that today is my daughter Melanie's 17th birthday, I was seriously about to type this sentence: "I wonder what it's like to be a fourth child."
This would be a stupid thing to type, you see, because I AM a fourth child. But really, I'm a different kind of fourth child from Melanie. I'm the baby of my family, the fourth of four, and my siblings were (are) all more than decade older than me.
I was essentially raised an only child.
Melanie, on the other hand, is the fourth of five siblings who are closer in age. She has spent her life living in the kind of chaos that reigns in households as big as ours.
She has learned to adapt, of course, but more than that, she has learned to thrive.
For a long time, Melanie was like the true baby of the family in that she was the youngest girl and, well, she just always seemed like a little kid to me.
Then one day – suddenly, shockingly – she wasn't. She was a young woman. This happened a couple of years ago and I'm still trying to get over it.
But while I stumble, she flourishes. She's an honors student who plays soccer and serves as vice president of her class. She has a boyfriend (whom I like very much) and engages in all of the activities and programs in which smart kids engage.
She's rarely the first to do anything in our house. It's hard, when your the sixth-oldest person in the family, to be truly original. But where she shines, where she's unique, is the way she pulls it all off. She has to work hard to succeed, and she does just that. Even in the things that seem to come easily to her.
And today she's 17, which is one of my favorite ages. You're not an adult, but you're also quickly leaving behind all vestiges of kid-hood. She has a lot to learn, and she has to mature as much as any 17-year-old, but it occurs to me that no matter where life takes her, she's going to be just fine.
That's as much as you can ask for as a parent. Once you know they're going to be fine, you breathe a little sigh of relief. That doesn't mean you won't worry about them. It doesn't mean they won't screw up...sometimes majorly.
But it does mean that, all things considered, you know she's going to be the kind of grown-up of whom you as a dad will be proud.
In a lot of ways, she already is.
Happy birthday, little Melanie.
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