I really miss the World Book Encyclopedia

NOTE: This is a somewhat adapted version of a post that originally appeared on the blog back in 2015.

When I was growing up, we had a full set of World Book Encyclopedias on our living room bookshelf, and I devoured them.

(To be clear, I don't mean I ate them. I read them.)

Here's exactly what they looked like:

I'm not kidding when I say I read them. I would literally open up a volume and just read whatever article I found. This is a main reason why I'm so good at general-knowledge trivia. A lot of the weird stuff I know comes from reading the 1964 edition of the World Book Encyclopedia.

There were certain articles I returned to time and again. "Snakes" was one. "Space Travel" was another. I also remember them having cool plastic overlays illustrating the different organ systems of the human body. Not sure if that was part of the "Anatomy" entry or what.

Still, there was no article I turned up more often than the one on "U.S. Presidents." The pages for that entry were torn and dog-eared from use. I can still picture the two-page spread in which the World Book editors very helpfully laid out illustrations of all the presidents from Washington to Lyndon Johnson (this was, remember, the 1964 edition).

I memorized those photos to the point that I could recite the presidents in order by the age of 6. My dad took me to the Hob Nob, the bar at the end of our street, a couple of times and had me show off my little presidents trick. The friendly drunks there were very appreciative of my skills, and both times I did it, Doris the barmaid gave me a free Coke. Not a bad deal.

Anyway, I used those World Book Encyclopedias a lot throughout my school career, usually as the basis for some written assignment or other. Like, for example, I remember having the "V" volume open at the kitchen table while I wrote out a report on the state of Vermont. Later essays depended heavily on Volume "I" for Iceland, "D" for diphtheria, and "R" for my favorite president of all, Teddy Roosevelt.

I later went to college in the late 80s and early 90s, which you geezers will remember was still essentially the pre-Internet age, so the World Books even helped me out as an undergraduate.

Then, with the advent of CD-ROM drives in the mid-90s, the encyclopedia people started putting their stuff onto CDs. Which at the time was pretty cool. "All of those encyclopedias on this ONE tiny disc?" As you might imagine, it was a lot cheaper – both for the manufacturer and for the consumer – to produce encyclopedias on CD rather than heavy-bound books.

However, I'm proud to say you can still buy the print version of the World Book Encyclopedia. The 22-volume 2026 edition can be yours for the low, low price of just $1,349.

Seems like such a small investment for guaranteed free drinks at your neighborhood watering hole.

Ten random thoughts on a Wednesday

(1) A while back, I made mention of my fascination with the Duggar family of "19 Kids and Counting" fame. Or is it 20? I don't know. Anyway, the point is, there's a new kid on the huge family TV block: The Bates. Their show, which is on TLC just like the Duggars, is called "The Bates Family: Baby Makes 19." I caught part of an episode recently and actually liked it (and them). But do they meet the basic criteria for reality TV families with lots of kids? Well, let's see: Are they white? Check. Do they live in the South? Check. Are they very religious? Check. Do they give their kids names that all begin with the same letter? BUZZ! Ohhhhh no, I'm sorry. Your family is very Duggar-like, but Jim Bob and Michelle still reign over this particular corner of the TV universe.

(2) On the subject of lunch meat: Am I the only person in the universe who likes Dutch loaf? It seems like I am. And if I am, why do they still make it? I appreciate the effort, but we hardly ever buy it, so really fellas, maybe you should concentrate on some other processed, food-like item. I'm not worth the effort.

(3) I would give almost anything right now to see an episode of the old "Hollywood Squares." I'm talking 70s-era "Hollywood Squares" hosted by Peter Marshall with Paul Lynde in the center square. That was good TV.

(4) I can't believe our telephones used to have cords. Remember that? You would answer the phone in the kitchen and you actually had to carry on your conversation in the kitchen because the cord would only go so far. If you had one of those fancy extended cords, you might be able to make it into the living room, but that was about it. Cordless phones are one of the most underrated inventions of the last half century.

(5) This is true: When I was little – like 5 or 6 years old – I learned all of the U.S. presidents in order. We had the 1964 edition of the World Book Encyclopedia, and I read the article on "Presidents" so many times that the pages eventually became ripped and dog-eared. My dad thought this was hilarious and would have me recite the presidents to anyone who cared to listen. What a freak I was. Anyway, I must have displayed this talent in school at some point, because one time Mrs. Potts put up a timeline of presidents on her classroom wall, and she invited me to come in and look at it. She wasn't even my teacher. I had no idea what my reaction was supposed to be. So I stared at it for awhile, said something to the effect that I liked it, then returned to my own 2nd-grade class. What exactly were they expecting from me? This is still baffling.

(6) I've been going around telling people that my 13-year-old son Jared is 6 feet tall. It turns out I'm a liar. Jared recently contracted strep throat and had to see the doctor, and they officially measured him at 5 feet, 11 3/4 inches. This makes me feel infinitely better about my 5-foot, 9 3/4-inch self.

(7) Speaking of my strange body, I know I've whined to you before about my freakishly small hands, but now it's getting out of control. My 11-year-old daughter Melanie's fingers are longer than mine. I'm a 42-year-old man, for Pete's sake. What is wrong with me?

(8) Rush is one of those bands I'm supposed to like, as a rock/pop music fan, but I just don't. I feel bad about this, but there's nothing I can do about it.

(9) About a month ago, I came out of my office and was walking to my car when I was approached by a young man in a wheelchair. He asked me for some spare change. I told him I didn't have any, which was 100% true. I usually don't carry cash (though I should). He said that's OK and shook my hand. But instead of releasing my hand, he then put it up to his lips and kissed it. Really. I'm generally not a germaphobe, but believe me when I tell you that I advanced directly to the nearest bottle of Purell with all due haste.

(10) I have never – really, never – met a girl named Vicky whom I didn't like. Same thing with guys named Dave.