Monday, April 8, 2013

What it will be like when my kids move out someday...

Reasons I Want My Kids to Grow Up and Move Out
  1. I'll no longer have to chauffeur them every time they have a practice or school activity, or want to go to a friend's to hang out.
  2. My house will be 57 times cleaner.
  3. If someone eats the last apple (the one I wanted), I'll have no problem identifying the suspect (my wife).
  4. I can devote an entire room, or even two, to whatever I want. Like having an office. I've always wanted an office.
  5. You will never again hear any complaints about dinner, seeing as how everything Terry cooks is awesome and a full 100% of dinner-related objections in the house emanate from our offspring.
  6. I'll be far less inclined to wear pants on a regular basis.
  7. The designated electorate charged with selecting what movie we're going to watch will consist entirely of Terry and me...and not five other people with far different cinematic tastes.
  8. I'll no longer feel obligated to coach or volunteer for sports and school-related activities. I will, with a clear conscience, say, "Sorry, but I can't."
  9. If a toilet in the house gets clogged, I know it will be fixed right away. Because Terry and I always grab the plunger and remedy the situation immediately. Others in the house who shall remain nameless do not.
  10. When it's time to go to bed, we'll go to bed. And it will be quiet. No one in the living room watching TV or playing video games. No one stomping around upstairs. No one making ungodly amounts of noise in the kitchen at 1 a.m.
Reason I Do NOT Want My Kids to Grow Up and Move Out
  1. I will, without a doubt, miss every single car trip, sock left on the floor, last apple eaten, room filled to capacity, dinner complaint, forced-pants-wearing situation, movie night, youth coaching opportunity, clogged toilet, and loud middle-of-the-night snack run. I will miss each of these things, and especially the munchkins who perpetrate them, desperately. Which is why I'm trying my darnedest to appreciate it all while I still can. On balance, I think they can stick around for a little while...

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