Friday, July 12, 2013

Things I can and can't do

I can type fast.

I can't do a cartwheel.

I can punctuate a sentence.

I can't fix a string trimmer.

I can play the saxophone.

I can't sing harmony parts.

I can remember obscure dates and facts.

I can't do Sudoku.

I can make a paper airplane.

I can't tread water for very long.

I can tell you the starting lineup for almost any Cleveland Indians team from 1979 to the present.

I can't do the same with the Cleveland Browns.

I can wash the dishes and clean up a kitchen with frightening thoroughness.

I can't juggle.

I can throw food up in the air and catch it in my mouth almost every time.

I can't ice skate backwards.

I can remember exactly what my elementary school smelled like.

I can't remember what I had for lunch two days ago.

I can conjugate certain verbs in English, French and Latin.

I can't build even the most basic of treehouses.

I can go for days on end with little sleep.

I can't go more than two hours without a snack.

I can vividly see old Jerry Lewis Labor Day MDA Telethons in my head.

I can't picture the guy who helped me at Subway yesterday.

I can count to 10 in, I think, four different languages (English, French, Spanish and Japanese).

I can't figure out how the toilet really works.

I can teach a child to dribble a soccer ball in five minutes.

I can't teach that same child how to consistently clean up after himself.

I can come up with relatively lame lists and pass them off as blog posts.

I can't justify why I do that.

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