Monday, December 28, 2015

So what's it like there in the future?

Dear Blog Readers from Another Time,

As this post is being written on Thursday, October 29, 2015, I am very excited to have the chance to communicate with you, the denizens of The Future.

I guess my main question is what life is like where you live in late December? How have things changed? For example, do you still have the Internet? You may not. You may have something completely different. In my time, the Internet was a complex digital network we used primarily to forward emails with non-factual political information to each other. And to swap pictures of cats. And, if I'm being honest here, videos of naked people. LOTS of videos of naked people.

I was also going to ask whether you all travel around via jetpacks, but I realize that's silly because the vision of universal jetpacks NEVER seems to come true, no matter how advanced we as a civilization become. This is confusing, though, because it doesn't seem like particularly complex technology. Maybe you're making strides in this area in your time?

What about sports? I and others like me are avid sports fans here in The Distant Past. I am particularly interested in Cleveland sports. Honestly, back here in October 2015, most Cleveland sports teams are dismal. The exception is our basketball team, the Cavaliers. Are they still competitive in your time? Is Lebron James still playing? Or did he retire? He was a very good basketball player. You may know of him.

Who is the president in your era? Here in October 2015 the president is Barack Obama. Many people here don't like him, which kind of makes me sad because, as much as I disagree with him on certain things, I do like him. I think he and I would get along well together. Is he still alive in your time? Did anyone ever figure out whether he was, in fact, a Kenyan Muslim operative? Or was that just something I read in one of the emails mentioned above?

Anyway, the very fact that you're reading this shows that this blog still exists, which is good, because I have a habit of blogging for several months at a time, then stopping because I claim I don't have any time, then starting up again saying I suddenly do have time, then stopping again, etc. But if my blog is still around in your era, it means something is going right in my life.

Of course, that's assuming I'm even still alive by the time this runs. You never know. I write these posts so far ahead that I may die tomorrow and no one will know because Scott's blog posts just keep showing up week after week.

Well, I appreciate the fact that you took the time to read this, especially if our society has changed so much by your time that we don't even speak or read English anymore. We may have moved on to an entirely new universal language, in which case I appreciate the effort it must take for you to translate these words in your head as you watch them on your advanced personal hologram screen or whatever.

Thanks for reading/deciphering. If you can, please keep the future as clean as possible, as we in this time all plan to get there eventually and would appreciate not having to clean up after you upon our arrival. Take care, and I'll see you soon.

Your pal from the past,


  1. Dear Scott,
    Hello from December 29, 2035. After I became president in January 2017 everyone left planet Earth for Mars. I think it was only coincidental because we all know I am amazing. Things are great here with me and my 5 wives from 5 different countries that somehow were able to jump over that huge wall I built. I've re-elected myself every 4 years. Life couldn't be better.

    Donald Trump

  2. President Trump: Thanks for checking in! I'm going to be laughing all day at your comment...