It's just a Snapchat filter, but this may as well be how I look these days.
- Paying close attention to the identity of birds that land on our back deck
- Finding myself suddenly and randomly thinking about insurance coverage
- Making a little noise every time I rise from a seated position (Note: A noise from my mouth, I mean, not from...other places on my body.)
- Watering my grass every day (Another note: I only water the two spots in the backyard where we planted grass seed this spring. Give me another 10 years and I'll likely be doing the whole lawn.)
- Making a full and protracted stop at a stop sign as an act of defiance to the guy who is tailgating me even though I should be the bigger person and ignore him BUT IT'S 25MPH ON THESE STREETS, SIR, NOT 40 AND YOU NEED TO SLOW DOWN
- Related to that, saying (loudly, even when I'm the only one in the car) "Nice stop!" to someone who rolls through a stop sign. On occasion, I've also been known to throw in a "Nice turn signal!" to anyone who fails to use theirs.
- Being unable to keep myself from saying things like, "Yes, but at least back in my day, popular music had MELODY and INTELLIGIBLE LYRICS."
- Getting visibly angry at the weeds growing through the cracks in our driveway
- Earnestly wondering whether I should take up the bassoon (this thought has occurred to me way more often than I care to admit)
- Telling the same stories and jokes to the same people over and over, having reached the bottom of what I had assumed was an endless well of charming anecdotes in my brain
