OK, so apparently cheaters DON'T prosper

Remember the whole thing where I asked you to click on the ads in my blog so I could make a few bucks? And how I even thanked you for doing it after my Google Ads account balance shot up?

I included this line at the end of that thank-you post when it suddenly occurred to me that what I was doing may not have been entirely ethical: "You don't think the Google AdSense people will read this and take away my cash, citing some obscure rule about soliciting ad clicks or something, do you? Maybe we should just keep this between ourselves..."

Well, guess what! (You already know where this is going.) I received the following note of reprimand from the Google Ads people:

Hello, 

We recently detected invalid activity in your AdSense account. As a result, we’ve temporarily suspended your account for 30 days. During this time, no ads will be served on your sites. 

Why was my account suspended?We found instances of one or more users clicking repeatedly on your AdSense ads which is prohibited by the AdSense Program Policies. Clicks on Google ads must result from genuine user interest. Publishers may not ask others to refresh or click their ads. This includes asking for users to support your site, offering rewards to users for viewing ads or performing searches and promising to raise money for third parties for such behavior. Additionally, clicking your own ads, automated clicking tools or traffic sources, robots, or other deceptive software are also prohibited.

The note was actually much longer, but the gist of it was:

• We know what you did, smart a**.
• There's a rule against that to which you clearly agreed, but you never even bothered to read it, did you?
• Your account is suspended for 30 days, which means no ads will appear on your blog AND we're going to withhold the payment to which you were otherwise entitled AND we're probably going to refund all of the revenue you've recently generated to the affected advertisers.
• And there's nothing you can do about it. Nyah nyah nyah!

Yes, the earnings that pushed me over that magical $100 payment threshold are probably going to be rescinded. That's $40 in income gone in a flash, and there's no doubt I deserve it.

So yeah, I screwed up. I should have read the fine print a bit more closely and realized (as a marketing professional myself) that solicited clicks aren't of any use to advertisers.

I guess, then, my request to you is to stop clicking on the ads unless you're really, genuinely interested in something. I appreciate everyone chipping in with a few clicks, but them's the rules, you know?

I guess we'll put that classical CD buying binge on hold for a bit...

Thank you for clicking on the ads. You're very nice people.

This past Saturday I wrote a post asking you to click on the ads on my blog because I could make money that way. I was serious that I would appreciate the clicks, but in no way did I expect you to do it. It was mostly a joke.

Except you did it. And you did it well.

So well in fact that I just checked Google AdSense, which tells me that in the last seven days, I have earned $14.98 from blog ad views and clicks.

For comparison's sake, you will note that this was, according to Google AdSense, a full $14.89 higher than what I earned the previous seven days.

So, then...Money earned in seven days before I groveled for clicks: 9 cents. Money earned in two days after I groveled: $14.89.

Once that 15 bucks or so gets added officially added to my account (I think your earnings accrue once a month), my balance will be more than $110, which means Google will finally issue me a check after five years of blogging.

I owe you. Big time.

As I cruise to work in my car listening to a Haydn string quartet from a CD purchased using my blogging revenue, I promise I will think of you. Fondly.

(NOTE: You don't think the Google AdSense people will read this and take away my cash, citing some obscure rule about soliciting ad clicks or something, do you? Maybe we should just keep this between ourselves...)

I'm never going to make real money blogging, but I could make 100 bucks if you do one thing that won't benefit you in the least

This is an insanely selfish blog post and I'm a bad person for writing it.

But I want my $100.

If you've been a reader of this space over the few years, you may have noticed that Blogger.com places ads here and there around the blog. I get money for displaying those ads. Pennies, mind you, just pennies.

But those pennies add up.

The more people that visit the blog, the more money I get. And what's more, the more people that actually click on those ads, the more money I get.

Do you see where I'm going here?

My plan is this: How about you go off and click on one or two of those ads? I don't care if you stay on whatever website they take you to. Just click on them. Then go about your day as usual. Don't even give me or my bank account a second thought.

What will happen, though, is that my Google Ads account balance will grow. Again, by pennies, but it will grow.

Right now that balance is about $95. It represents several years' worth of on-and-off blogging and thousands of subsequent eyeballs that have viewed and/or clicked on ads in my blog.

Google Ads will not issue payment until a blogger reaches $100.

We're so close, people, so close. Well, I'm so close. As I've freely admitted, there's absolutely nothing in this deal for you, other than the satisfaction of knowing that, with just a few mouse clicks (or even a few dozen, if you're so inclined), you've added to my collection of classical CDs.

Because that's what I'm going to do with the money, you understand. I'm going to go on a classical CD shopping spree on Amazon.com. It's exactly the sort of stupid, nerdy thing you would expect me to do, and I don't plan to let you down.

The CDs I like can be had for less than $10 apiece. Far less than $10, in some cases, even when you include shipping. I'll have more CDs to listen to on my drive to and from work, thus making me happier and more relaxed, and therefore more healthy.

So, by extension, if you choose not to click on any of the ads, it's entirely accurate to say you're killing me.

Shame on you. Get out there and click on those ads and clear your conscience immediately. You're welcome.