I would have been fine with a house full of daughters, but sons are nice, too

My wife birthed five babies, and we didn't find out the gender of any of them before they were born.

Let me say three things about that:

(1) Just because we did it that way doesn't I mean I think anyone else has to do it that way. It was our choice for us. Your choice may be different, which is totally fine. Why do some people feel that their way is always The Right Way and that everyone must follow their lead? Or, conversely, that if someone makes a choice different from theirs, that's automatically a threat or a challenge to them? Seriously, this irritates me. In most cases for most things, it's OK that we can make different choices and co-exist. There doesn't have to be a "right" and a "wrong." Can we all agree on that?

(2) As I've often acknowledged, my gender guess was wrong every single time. I went 0 for 5 in my kid gender predictions, which is just staggering to me. That's like flipping a coin five times and  not calling it correctly even once. It's not impossible, I realize, and may be even more probable than I think, but still...how did I not get it right just one time?

(3) We had two girls before we had our first boy, and while I love my sons, I would have been fine with a house full of daughters.

It turns out that having sons is great and I love it, but by Baby #3, I was comfortable with all aspects of having daughters. Well, "all aspects" meaning those things pertaining to having daughters ages 4 and almost 2, which is how old Elissa and Chloe were when Jared was born. They're relatively uncomplicated at that age and I felt I had reached a certain level of understanding with them.

For example, I could change a girl's diaper in seconds. I had a pattern down. A system, if you will. Then suddenly God threw a boy into the mix and...wow. My wipey technique had to change drastically.

You can count on one hand the number of places on a baby girl where poop is likely to be found. But a boy? Suddenly there were folds on top of folds, and my Boy Diaper Changing Time ended up being roughly double what my Girl Diaper Changing Time was. It was traumatic at first.

Then there were girl clothes and hair ribbons and stuff. I learned how they all worked, and by the third kid I was pretty confident with them. Then along comes a male child and I had a whole set of new stuff to learn. It wasn't hard, but again, it took me out of my Kid Comfort Zone.

I also liked the idea that, when the girls became teenagers, I could refer them to their mother for all questions that might be characterized as tricky, hair-raising, or feminine hygiene-related. But with boys, I was suddenly going to be the one with the answers. That was alarming.

In the end, I love having kids of both sexes. It gives you a whole new perspective on people, personalities and parenting. And it contributes greatly to what is already a fairly high level of chaos in my house, which I honestly wouldn't trade for anything.

But had God decided to bless me with five daughters, you would not hear me complaining. Daughters are, broadly speaking, funny, considerate, loving and just a delight to have around the house. I love being a father of girls.

Boys, however, also have their advantages. Again, speaking very generally here and no doubt stereotyping, boys tend to be less emotional, less dramatic, and more apt to talk about sports. A lot of girls are like that, too, but again, I'm generalizing. And there's something to be said for having that element in your life when you're a dad.

In the end, we all accept whatever nature gives us in terms of kid gender, but I think it's better if we accept it willingly, with a smile on our collective parenting faces. You may want that first kid to be a certain sex, but it's going to be what it's going to be and you're charged with raising it no matter what, so just roll with it, baby.

Also, you first-time parents should feel free to see me if you want a diaper-changing lesson. After three girls, two boys and thousands of diapers, I'm telling you, I'm a virtuoso.

Five songs that make dads of daughters start blubbering - BLOG RERUN

NOTE: This post originally ran on my old blog, "They Still Call Me Daddy," on April 6, 2012, and it was far, far, far and away the most widely read thing I had ever written. Back then, my typical post earned about 200 page views. This one has more than 23,000 and counting. It's a subject that apparently resonates with people...

Inside every father of a daughter is a big softie. No matter how hard and tough the guy may seem, I guarantee you he has a tender place in his heart for that little girl.

The music industry knows this and has, on more than one occasion, taken advantage of it by producing songs designed solely to make us cry. I hate them for it.

There are actually relatively few things that will make me cry. If a Cleveland sports team ever wins a championship, I will cry. This is silly, I know, but I won't deny it. If it ever happens in my lifetime, I will cry.

I mist up at most Hallmark movies, too, though I usually deny it and blame it on dust in the room or something.

And anything sentimental to do with my kids – particularly my girls –  will make me cry. I'm no different than most other dads in this respect.

So here, then, is one man's list of the Top Five Daddy-Daughter Songs Designed to Make Grown Men Weep. We'll go in reverse order...

#5 - "Daddy's Little Girl" - The Mills Brothers
(EDITOR'S NOTE: I originally listed the artist as Al Martino, but as a commenter below correctly pointed out, The Mills Brothers' version is the most widely known.) No list of this kind would be complete without the most requested Father-Daughter Dance song of all time. From the very first verse, The Mills Brothers go for the heartstrings: "You're the end of the rainbow / My pot of gold / You're daddy's little girl / To have and to hold." If any of my daughters make me dance to this song at their wedding, I will collapse into a sobbing heap right then and there. That's it, just four lines into the song and I'll be done. I'll telling them this now so they can be prepared for major embarrassment on their big day.

#4 - "Stealing Cinderella" - Chuck Wicks
Country singers are experts at exploiting the daddy-daughter relationship. We could actually have filled this list with nothing but country tunes, but for my money, this one is the best. It tells the story of a guy going to his girlfriend's father to ask for her hand in marriage. It's obvious to him the dad worships his daughter, and that "To him I'm just some fella / Riding in and stealing Cinderella." Note that the Cinderella figure will play a major role later on. For now, if you're not familiar with "Stealing Cinderella," check out the video.

#3 - "When She Loved Me" - Sarah McLachlan
Kind of a surprise entry. On the surface, this isn't necessarily a daddy-daughter song. It's from the "Toy Story 2" soundtrack, and it's sung from the perspective of a doll whose owner has grown up and doesn't play with her anymore. But the song has always reminded me of my daughters, and sometimes specifically of Elissa and the two years or so when I worked nights and was with her every day while Terry was at work. "Through the summer and the fall / We had each other, that was all / Just she and I together / Like it was meant to be." Excuse me for a second, someone must have emptied the vacuum cleaner bag because it's getting really dusty in here...

#2 - "Butterfly Kisses" - Bob Carlisle
Darn you, Bob Carlisle. You're an evil, evil man. This song is terrible, and by that I mean it's awesome. What makes it terrible is that it's one of those "let's follow the little girl as she grows up and becomes a woman and end on her wedding day as her father walks her down the aisle" songs. Which of course makes you realize that time passes impossibly fast and that you're probably not making the most of it. Every time I hear this song, I go looking for Melanie to see if she wants to play a board game or go outside or just do anything except grow up like her rotten sisters are doing.

#1 - "Cinderella" - Steven Curtis Chapman
You want to feel guilty? You want to feel terrible? You don't even have to listen to the song itself. Just listen to Steven Curtis Chapman explain the inspiration for it. That's enough right there to make you feel like the worst parent in the world. And then consider how he must feel every time he sings it and has to think about his 5-year-old daughter who was killed when her brother accidentally ran her over in his SUV as she was playing in the family driveway. I have "Cinderella" on my iPod, and sometimes when I listen to it I don't know whether to feel terrible, inspired, or both. I lean toward "inspired," but it's hard not to feel guilty about the amount of time you spend with your little girls when he sings, "'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight / And she'll be gone." Wow.

10 Reasons I Enjoy Having Daughters

My wife and I have three girls and two boys. I love 'em all, but this is what I like specifically about having daughters:

(1) The house always smell nice: Girls use all kinds of nice-smelling lotions, perfumes and shampoos, and the residual fragrance makes our house smell better. It's a nice perk, actually.

(2) If there's a delicate subject to be broached with them, it automatically falls to my wife: Not that I can't talk to my girls about anything, but really, when the subject is the three-letter word that starts with "S" and ends with "EX," or is anything to do with feminine hygiene, those are things best handled by Terry. And this is fine by me.

(3) They talk: And in some cases, they talk and talk and talk and talk, ad infinitum. But my point is, they communicate. My son Jared is a good kid, but his preferred method of communication is the Universal Grunt System. The girls use actual words, which as a marketing/PR professional I prefer.

(4) I have an excuse to watch girly shows: I kind of like "Dancing With the Stars." And "Pretty Little Liars." And just about any other show that's geared toward women (which is to say, 85% of television content these days). When someone calls me on it, I can just say, "Eh, Terry and the girls had control of the TV so I had to watch it."

(5) I can do a ponytail and operate a barrette: Well, sort of. I'm no expert, but my work in this area is passable. These are skills I obviously wouldn't have picked up had we had five sons.

(6) I get the opportunity to coach girls sports: That sounds kind of creepy on the surface, but what I mean is that I like coaching girls. They tend to be a little more compliant and coachable than boys, especially at older ages. Give me a team of 12-year-old female soccer players over their male counterparts any day (though if Jack keeps playing, I'll probably have a boys team to coach in just a couple of years).

(7) They like to cook and bake: I realize a lot of boys enjoy this, too (Jack being one of them). But generally speaking, girls get into this more than boys. The result is a variety of excellent desserts and other concoctions that I get to sample.

(8) Easier diaper changing: At least for me. My experience is that it's easier to clean and change a baby girl than it is a baby boy. And that's all I'll say about that.

(9) I learn new things all the time: Boy stuff I already know. I've been experiencing boy stuff for 42 years. But there's always something new to learn about girls. They surprise and fascinate me all the time.

(10) They really are Daddy's Little Girls: My wife has always said that our girls have me wrapped around their little fingers. She is, as is so often the case, exactly right. Maybe this is a bad thing, but I do enjoy spoiling my daughters when I get the chance.

COMING TOMORROW: 10 Reasons I Enjoy Having Sons

Four Things That Mystify Me About Daughters

(1) Ponytail Holders
Well, not the ponytail holders themselves. I know what they're for. I'm just amazed at the quantity of them around the house, and the fact that they always, always, always end up on the floor. Not just the bathroom floor, any floor. I find them everywhere. Are my daughters randomly pulling these things out of their hair and just whipping them onto the floor regardless of where they are? I don't know, but I estimate that we own 14 trillion ponytail holders, and I have picked up each and every one at least once.

(2) They Know Things
This isn't just my daughters, it's women in general. They have secret knowledge they pass down to each other. Little girls do these intricate handclapping/rhyming games I can't begin to figure out. They know how to do things to their hair -- and to their friends' hair -- that escape me. They instinctively fold clothes better than I do. I don't understand any of it, and my wife won't tell me what the secret is. Mark my words, though, ladies...one of these days I'm going find out where you hold your meetings and I'm sneaking in through the back door. Then you'll be sorry!

(3) Their Capacity For Love...and Anger
I have two sons. They're simple to understand, in part because they have a very narrow range of emotions. Only with delicate scientific instruments can you successfully tell Angry Jared from Happy Jared. Their only real needs are food, water, shelter and video games. Rarely do they do anything unexpected. I like that. But my girls? I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to get from them day to day. Could be ectastic joy, could be fire-breathing rage. Could be both. Your guess is as good as mine. One of these days I'll do a post on the bizarre biological phenomenon known as menstrual synchrony, and those of you without female offspring will have a better idea of what I'm talking about.

(4) They Can Get Me To Do Anything For Them
I've been aware of this since March 24, 1994, the day Elissa was born. She came out of the womb, looked me right in the face, and with those sad, pleading, puppy dog eyes, asked me to buy her a car. And I did. (Well, not really, but I WOULD have.) People often talk about daughters having fathers wrapped around their little fingers, and oh believe me, it's true. It's the strongest of their powers, and they wisely keep it in reserve until they need it most. It's not that I never tell them "no," but when they really want something, they know how to get it from me. They may have learned this from their mother.


BONUS MATERIAL: Four things that mystify me about sons
Nothing. Nothing mystifies me about my sons. I told you, they're simple creatures and easy to understand. This could be good or bad, depending on how you look at it. I'm thinking a little of both.

Hate the boyfriend! Hate the boyfriend!

I don't own a shotgun, which apparently marks me as a failure of a father.

The prevailing wisdom is that, as someone with daughters, I should be automatically distrustful of any boy they bring home. When it comes to my girls' suitors (an awesome word that I'm fully aware hasn't been used in any non-ironic sense in more than 100 years), my expected role as "Dad" is to project an air of suspicion and even borderline hatred. Maybe show them my gun collection, casting vague hints of retribution should they try anything with my female offspring.

Confession time: I like my daughters' boyfriends. I really do. They're nice guys, and they seem to treat Elissa and Chloe well. What's not to like?

The one who has been around the longest -- something like 9 months now? -- is Chris. Or, as he's referred to in our house, "Chris Dorazio." We always refer to Chris Dorazio as "Chris Dorazio," first and last name both. I don't know why, it's just something we do.

Anyway, Chris Dorazio is Chloe's significant other. He's Vietnamese-Italian, of course, a combination that could only happen in Wickliffe, Ohio. Chris Dorazio is a great athlete and a smart kid, but more importantly, he's Asian. Chris Dorazio constantly makes fun of himself for being Asian. This endears him to me because I also like to make fun of Chris Dorazio for being Asian. Not that there's anything wrong with being Asian, of course. It's just that, as a white suburbanite, I have a mandate from nature to make fun of anyone who doesn't look like me. Again, it's what we do.

So Chris Dorazio, who comes to church with us every Sunday and then spends the day hanging around the house like the honorary family member he is, will crack a joke about his eyes being slanted, his skin being yellow, or about being uber-smart, and I like him for it.

Elissa's beau (another awesome, seldom-used word from antiquity) is Sean. Sean is just Sean, because his last name is Matanowitsch. "Sean Matanowitsch" doesn't flow nearly as well as "Chris Dorazio," so he's just Sean. Which is fine. Whereas Chris Dorazio's greatest attribute is the fact that he was born in Vietnam, Sean automatically endears himself to me because he plays the saxophone. I play the saxophone, too.

ADVICE TO HIGH SCHOOL BOYS: Find something in common with your girlfriend's father. Trust me on this.

Sean is a nice kid who happens to be two years younger than Elissa. I think this bothers her more than it bothers me. I would be a lot more nervous if Sean were two years older than Elissa.
I should mention that my 13-year-old son, Jared, has a girlfriend, so the roles are reversed there. Her name is Marissa, and though I don't get to see her as often as Chris Dorazio or Sean, I know her mother, Kelly. And Kelly is awesome. I can only assume, then, that Marissa is the same. I know Jared likes her anyway, and since Jared and I tend to look alike, we probably also have the same taste in women.

I know fathers of young girls who are scared to death of that moment when their daughters bring home that first boy. They joke about pulling the young lad aside and telling him what will happen if he crosses the line with their precious little girl. And I get that. But really, fellas, you don't have to be so uptight. If you raise your daughters to be smart, sensible and self-confident, you won't have to worry as much when the dating thing begins.

And between you and me? Try and get them to go out with an Asian guy. The humor potential is unlimited.